


From Jedi to Traitor

by MissPatate



Series: Broken hope [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angry Anakin Skywalker, Dark Obi-Wan Kenobi, Depressed Obi-Wan Kenobi, Depression, Mental Breakdown, Murder, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Obi-Wan Kenobi-centric, Obi-Wan doesn't care but care, Self-Esteem Issues, The Dark Side of the Force, Time Travel, Treason
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissPatate/pseuds/MissPatate
Summary: Obi-Wan is serene. He just killed the Chancellor of the Republic in cold blood, but he is serene.ORObi-Wan time-travelled  and killed Palaptine (see Part 1), but he  did not think through the consequences of his actions. He thinks he doesn't care. Does he?
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Broken hope [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1851577
Comments: 219
Kudos: 465





	1. A mad man

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Many of you asked me for a sequel, so I'm writing it! :D  
> Sorry for the language mistakes! And as always, I hope my English is well enough to allow you to enjoy the story!

Obi-Wan is serene. He just killed the Chancellor of the Republic in cold blood, but he is serene. He doesn’t care if Dooku was right. He doesn’t think too much about the future, even the future of his own soul. After all, he was dead minutes ago; he was ready to join the Force. He had no future anymore, not as Obi-Wan Kenobi, not even as Ben, the crazy old desert Wizard. Maybe he is dead, and this is some kind of afterlife. Maybe the Force didn’t want him to be one with it and it just rejected him. Or perhaps, he is lying on his couch, in his small stone hutt on Tatooine and he is going completely insane, hallucinating and crying like the failure he is.

The Force seems to urge him, but there is no warmth in its touch. It is so cold and the feeling is uncomfortable. 

For several minutes, he just sits on the metallic floor, eying the lying body of his former padawan as if it is a dream. His eyes don’t display any glint of emotion, only emptiness. 

Possibly, if he stops looking at Anakin, the young man will disappear and his elegant figure will be replaced by Darth Vader’s mechanical and frightening one. The Sith’s suit always remembered Obi-Wan of a coffin and, in a way, it was. Anakin Skywalker died. And Darth Vader rose, like a simple ghost, a carnal (or rather scrap-made) enveloppe of nothingness; only anger and hatred. 

The Jedi turns his head and gazes once more at Palpatine's corpse. Now that he is dead, he looks like the defenseless old man everybody thought he was. There are no more malicious smiles on his face, no devious glint in his eyes. He looks like a child, plainly innocent, sleeping on a bed too large for him, on this huge chair. Obi-Wan sighs. In death, everybody looks the same: Jedi, Sith, Clones, animals. Did he look like that when he was dying on Tatooine? A child in a far too big sandpit? 

Time goes and an explosion nearby reminds him that the star destroyer is about to explode, or crash, or something like that. He sighs once again. Maybe he has no future, but Anakin is alive, in this Universe, this Time-Line, this Vision or wherever he is. He can’t let him die here. He gets to his feet and drags his unconscious friend on his back. Using the Force to gather the needed strength, he decides to find a way out. 

Suddenly, a quake sends him to the side, his feet slip, but he catches hold of a barrier at the very last moment. He stabilizes Anakin’s limp body on his shoulders and keeps walking.

He stops next to the elevator, but it isn’t working. He casually observes the colored diodes which remain red. He squints. How did they succeed the first time they were escaping from this ship? Kriff! He can’t remember because the last time _he_ was unconscious. The roles are now reversed. 

“That’s my luck!” He exclaims, groaning. 

That is when he recalls…. _“Artoo!”_ He got out of the habit of having a comlink, and grabbing it isn’t a reflex anymore. But, now, it is obvious.

“Artoo, activate the elevator 3224.” He orders. Artoo whistles and beeps. The little droid must spend too much time with C3PO, because he seems stressed. 

Unfortunately, a few seconds later, a missile explodes and the ship starts to pitch. She turns over, now in a vertical position instead of her usual horizontal one. Obi-Wan has to run to avoid falling and possibly finishing ejected into space. He doesn’t want Anakin to die in space. It is a really horrible and painfull death. He escalates the elevator’s entrance and walks on the wall, which currently becomes the floor. He runs as fast as he can.

At that point, the ship gets slowly back to her normal position and Obi-Wan begins to fall again, sliding along the wall, while it gradually returns to vertical. He grabs a hanging cable and prays the Force for help, while holding Anakin with his free hand. 

As if the situation weren't already complicated, Anakin wakes up at this exact moment. Master Kenobi rolls his eyes as the young man grasps his waist. 

“Master!” He cries. “What happened? Are we in trouble?” Skywalker asks and his eyes are scanning the whole place. He seems to be all at sea and he shakes his head to move a rebellious strand of hair away from his eyesight.

“Oh, no, nothing, Anakin. Everything is under control. You can go back to sleep.” His former master tells him ironically. _Stupid question, stupid answer._

The young man nods simply, before realizing something. His eyes widen and he looks frantically all around. “Where is the Chancellor? We must go back for him! And where is Dooku?”

“Not now, I will explain when we are safe.”

“But…”

Fortunately -or not-, the boy’s interrogatory is cut short by a metallic noise above them.

_Of course, now, this useless elevator starts working!_

This time, Anakin grabs his comlink. 

“Artoo! Artoo!” he shouts. “Shut down the elevator!”

“Too late!” answers Obi-Wan. “Jump!”

And they do. They fall side by side, using the Force to decrease their speed. Activating their grappling iron, they succeed to slide through a door and land heavily in a corridor. 

“Let’s see if we can find something in the hangar bay that is still flyable.” The older man proposes.

“R2, get down here! R2, do you copy?” Anakin asks in his comlink. Some beeps answer to him, and the two men sprint to the hangar bay. 

In Kenobi’s other life, Grievous stopped them, activating rey shields in one of the halls. But this time, they manage to reach their destination without more fights… Or _almost_ without more fight. A battalion of fifteen droids gets in their way. They look at each other and without a word, switch their lightsabers on. The well-known hum greets them as they get rid of the threat. 

It is strange to fight again at Anakin’s side. Obi-wan feels alive again, for ten minutes, maybe a little more, before remembering his life’s nonsense. This war was nonsense. This war IS nonsense. 

They enter rapidly a small ship.

“R2, get ready for takeoff!” Knight Skywalker says, and they are -at last!- escaping. 

“So, now that we are safe, you can tell me everything. Where is Palpatine? Why isn’t he with us? What happened?” The young man taps the control panel, absolutely impatient. And Obi-Wan feels lucky that his friend accepted to get going without questions while they were in the star destroyer.

The Master scratches his chin, wondering what he should reveal. He can’t tell Anakin that he killed the most important person in the Republic. He is too tired and too blasé to explain the details, and he is sure that his interlocutor won’t believe him. After all, Anakin doesn’t know the whole story and Palpatine was a friend of his. Dooku was right. He doesn’t want his best friend to hate him - even in this vision/alterlife/past?. How mad he would sound, reporting that he is coming back from the future -or whatever-, from Tatooine and that his friend’s mentor is the Sith Lord. And that HE killed him, unexpectedly and with premeditation. 

But he can’t lie either. At least, _he can’t lie about everything_. The general finally shrugs.

“The mission is a failure, Anakin.” he concludes, in a neutral voice.

“What?” The exclamation is loud. Very loud. 

“The Chancellor is dead and Dooku escaped.”

“What? But, Master, I defeated him! What happened?” Obi-Wan thinks that he won’t be able to forget the sadness on his padawan’s face. There is also anger and grief. The young man clenches his fists and his jaw lightly trembles. 

“He tricked me.” Obi-Wan replies and slouches on his chair. 

“But… I had him! I cut his hands! And you… you just…. “ Ani frowns. “What happened to me? Why did I pass out?”

His master sighs, and makes a gesture with his left hand.

“I used a Force suggestion to make you sleep.”

“WHAT ? Why? How dared you!” The anger is gradually increasing. By now, fury is almost overwhelming the young Skywalker. His cheeks are red with rage.

“You were unbalanced, you were about to kill Dooku... He was unarmed, Anakin! I felt the Dark Side in you! You...” The older Jedi starts explaining, but his former apprentice cuts him short.

“So you didn’t trust me to make the right decision !!!! You never trust me!”

“What decision? Kill a defenseless opponent?” Sarcasm. Again.

“Defenseless?! Obi-Wan, are you _kriffing_ joking? What the Sith hells is wrong with you?!! You just said that he ran away. That he KILLED the Chancellor. He doesn’t seem defenseless to me, _Master_.”

General Kenobi didn’t say that it was Dooku who killed Palpatine. Anakin deduced it. But the Jedi Master isn’t going to correct him on the matter. Obi-Wan raises his eyebrows and looks away, sighing. 

“Anakin, I know that Palpatine was your friend, but what is done, is done. You must control your anger. We can’t change the past.” _Oh. Wait. How ironic. He just changed the past._

“Bantha poodoo!” the knight shouts, running a hand through his hair. “How can you be so...so… so calm? We failed one of the most important missions of our life… Oh wait, no. YOU FAILED. AND THE CHANCELLOR IS DEAD! THE CHANCELLOR OF THE GALACTIC REPUBLIC! How can you be so emotionless? It’s like you don’t care!”

_Oh Anakin, I know that I failed. I failed everything. I failed you._ _But not this time._

“Because of you, the Chancellor is dead! And Dooku is alive and free again!”

“Anakin, please, calm down…” The Counselor begs, in a really tired tone. 

“Everything was under control and you just forced me to take a nap! What the kriff?” Obi-Wan never saw Anakin’s eyes so wide open. Just as well he doesn’t break some fingers clenching his fists so hard.

“Anakin…”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you going insane, old man?! Is your brain already deteriorating? ” Now, the boy is shivering.

“Anakin, I care. I really care. I… I just didn’t want you to Fall.”

“I wasn’t falling! I am not that weak!”

“But you were hesitating! If you killed Dooku, it would be a first step to...”

“Yeah, ‘cause the chancellor was right, the Count was too dangerous to be kept alive. And now, he is hiding again, the Sith Hells know where!” Anakin snapped. 

“No, he was wrong.” Obi-Wan answers calmly.

All of a sudden, the Jedi Master can’t breathe. He feels ghost hands on his neck, crushing his bones and his trachea. Fear appears in his eyes as he looks at the angry face of his interlocutor. Anakin is force-choking him. Just like he force-choked his own wife on Mustafar. And he thought naively that killing the chancellor would solve all their problems ! No way!

Dooku was right, indeed. Anakin hates him already. Anakin will always hate him. No hope. Not even a drop of hope. Obi-Wan doesn't even try to stop him. After all, he was ready to join the Force. Maybe he was meant to be killed this way. _Infinite sadness._

But, as fast as it started, the Force-choking stops. Anakin is shaking, and tears run down his cheeks. He looks pale, afraid and ashamed. Obi-Wan coughs, and takes deep breaths of air. His heart is racing again and he is sweating a lot, he must look like a fountain.

“Master, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” cries his padawan as he comes to check him. “I.. I didn’t want it! I just... I was furious and sad! Palpatine was my friend and... ! I lost control! Oh Master! I’m so sorry! Please forgive me! You were right, I’m unbalanced! You were right from the beginning, I’m dangerous! I… I… I...” the knight stutters, hugging his master, tears on his cheeks.

“It’s ok, Anakin, everything will be all fine.” Obi-Wan says, returning his embrace.

_Liar._


	2. Not a Jedi Anymore?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Anakin report to the Council...

It is really frustrating to walk the Jedi Temple’s halls. Even after the battle over Coruscant, this place is so quiet and so peaceful, far from the war, like nothing ever happened. Because nothing happened.  _ Yet.  _

A huge amount of Jedi - Master, Knights and Padawans alike-, lost their lives at the Clone Wars. In Kenobi’s youth, the temple was very lively and seemed lightfull; now, the corridors are empty and everything seems grey. He wants to be happy to see this place again and to see some of his friends again. He wants to feel some positive emotion, but his heart is too cold. There is too much contradiction in his mind : there is a voice at the back of it, repeating again and again that there is no hope. He believes it. He is so tired, he just wants to lie down and never get up. Obi-Wan never forgot the image of a burning building full of corpses. He never forgot the holosecurity’s footage of his brother slaughtering his fellow Jedi. He never forgot the dead younglings, some of whom were not even ten years old. The thought that these children died through his own fault, because he wasn’t able to understand the true nature of the war, because he wasn’t capable of seeing that Anakin was lost, because he was  _ so blind _ , is unbearable.The guilt hammers his mind. He was a member of the Council, for Force’s sake! The other Jedi were his responsibility. And so were the clones.  _ Their slaves.  _

Obi-Wan is lost; he doesn’t know anymore what to do: try (but what?) or give up? For now, his heart yells ‘GIVE UP’, but there is this insidious thought: ‘you can do it, you can live again’. It’s just a whisper, covered by the scream of his broken heart. 

For the moment, he doesn’t feel home. He feels dissociated of all those shining lives in the Force. He is a stranger here, because Obi-Wan Kenobi is no more than a zombie. Anyway, he  _ feels _ like a dying empty shell. One day, when Ani was a small kid, he called him ‘a cold human-looking droid without emotions’. It is an exact description for his current state of mind. Perhaps a part of him is one with the Force, and the rest stays here, in the past. He doesn't know if it is a gift from the Force, or a curse. He snorts.  _ Such a failure _ ,  _ you even failed your own death. _

Obi-Wan and his former padawan walk, shoulder against shoulder, crossing the hallways, at a quick pace. 

Anakin appears embarrassed by the silence and radiates guilt. Obi-Wan didn’t say a word since they stepped out the shuttle at the temple’s hangar bay. Skywalker lowers his eyes. 

“Master…” he starts speaking. “I’m really sorry for what happened in the ship, I’ll do anything to make amends and…”

“You already apologized, Anakin.” Obi-Wan gently points the fact out to his interlocutor. 

“No, really, Obi-Wan. I see you’re upset. I’ll speak about my behaviour to the Council, and I’ll accept every punishment. But I don’t want you to be mad at me… You’ve all the right to be but… You’re so quiet and I think I would prefer if you shout at me ‘cause…”

The older Jedi holds one of his hand’s palm up in his friend’s direction. He then gazes at him, and gives him a wide sad smile.

“Everything’s fine. Do not worry. I always knew that you would be the death of me. That is no news.” The tone is horribly neutral. The joke isn’t funny and there is no smile on their faces. Anakin raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth, ready to speak again, but, after a few moments of doubt, and seeing that his partner isn’t looking at him anymore, he purses his lips and gets tangled up in a quiet contemplation of his own feet. He must think that his Master’s silence and words are some kind of dirty revenge.

But the truth is that Obi-Wan really intended to make a funny joke, to reduce tensions, but the weariness prevents his happiness. He looks again at his sad comrade and has some sort of revelation. Anakin is the only person that gives him some kind of purpose -or, at least, it is the main reason why he is wandering in this place and time yet -, the simple fact of looking at him softens the voice crying “no hope”. If it wasn’t for Anakin, he wouldn’t have escaped from the destroyer. But is this enough? 

They finally stop their walking in front of the imposing Council chamber’s door. They don’t have to wait a long time before they are asked to enter. 

“Master Kenobi, Knight Skywalker, to see you safe, happy we are.” Master Yoda says, eying them.

“Masters.” Obi-Wan bows. Only three councilors are present in person: Yoda, Mace Windu and Plo Koon. The others are there in the form of holograms. 

“Your previous report is worrying.” says Windu. 

“All the details, you will give to us. The Chancellor's death, a great misfortune, it is.” the little green Jedi orders. 

_ Oh yes. A great misfortune, indeed.  _ Thinks Obi-Wan, sarcastically. 

He lets Anakin speak about the mission’s beginning, their infiltration, and all that happened when he was unconscious. He feels Yoda’s gaze at him, but tries to avoid looking back. He wears his neutral facial expression and pretends to listen. But, in his mind, there is a tornado of contradiction and feelings, and despite his shields, he thinks that the Grand Master of the Order can see it.

Why isn’t he happy to see them all? Why is he feeling despair? Why does he only see their failings? Is he a kind of emotionless monster ? Does he really don’t care anymore about their lives? Does he really don’t care about what can happen?

He doesn't want to tell them the truth. He doesn't want to end up stranded or excluded from the Order when he had given them everything and could still give a lot. Maybe he cares, after all. 

Obi-Wan watches them, torn between the wish to be joyful to see the Temple again and - almost- everyone alive and the rancour against their arrogance and blindness. 

They followed the orders of the Senate,  _ and Palpatine _ . 

It's no wonder they asked too much of him. In the end, they were the masters of their own downfall. He thinks about his missions, his ton of work, all his responsibilities at such a young age. He thinks again about Kadavo.  _ Jedi only make things worse. _ He thinks about the ‘Rako Hardeen’  _ stupid _ assignment, which he should never have accepted. It must have been the final straw in his relationship with Anakin. It had shattered the weak trust that remained between them and pushed the young man to confide even more to the treacherous Chancellor. 

He looks at his friend, who is still reporting. It hurts to remember that Ani never told him about Padmé. Obi-Wan knew about their affair, but he didn’t think that the senator was his wife. 

“And I… I wanted to kill Dooku. I really wanted to. Without Obi-Wan’s help, I think that I would have succumbed to my anger…” Anakin says. 

“You reported that you passed out. Please explain.” says the Korun Master, frowning. All the jedi look now at Obi-Wan.

Now is the moment to choose. The truth or the lies. The Force cries ‘Truth’ at him. 

He decides to lie. 

“It was my doing. At that very moment, I felt his anger and his lack of control. I decided to use a Force suggestion. Maybe I overreacted, but I couldn't take the risk. With this war, we are all uptight.” The tone is neutral.

He doesn’t say anything about what happened in the shuttle. 

Yoda squints, but answers nothing.  _ He knows. Obi-Wan can feel it. The little troll is suspicious. _

“How did Dooku manage to kill the Chancellor, without the use of his hands?” asks Plo Koon, who was silent until this point of the conversation.

“He used the Force.” And Master Kenobi launches into a very creative but believable story. Nobody reacts. For a few minutes, there is silence in the room. Are they less blind than he thinks they are? 

“Knight Skywalker, see a mind healer, you will. If tainted with the Dark Side, you are, maybe help, we can provide.” Yoda finally simply states. “The war, over, it is not. Complicated times, there will be. Lose control, you cannot.”

Obi-Wan and Anakin bow, understanding that they are dismissed. 

“Master Obi-Wan, To discuss the future, we have. And other matters to attend.” says Yoda, indicating his chair to Kenobi. The latter just sighs. 

“I am sorry, but I am tired.” The tone is weary. And with these words, he leaves the Council chamber. 

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

Anakin bows and leaves the room. He goes to the hangar, and tries to do some moving meditation, while fixing an old speeder. But, Obi-Wan’s strange behaviour is obsessing him and he can’t manage to focus. 

Finally, he decides to go to Obi-Wan’s quarters and to ask him about it. When he arrives, he gently opens the door. The apartment is plunged into darkness. A groan attracts him to the sleeping room, where the door is ajar. He sticks silently his head through it.

Obi-Wan is crying his eyes out, lying on the couch, and Anakin can smell alcohol in the room's air; a bottle of what must have been some jawa juice is lying dropped on the floor. Ani can't see his face, but he hears him distinctly and sees his shoulders shaking with sobs. This sight, as well as the insolent display in front of the council, are worrying. Obi-Wan never cries and Anakin never saw tears on his cheeks since Qui-Gon's death. This man is not acting like his former master usually acts. His master always controls his emotions, and would never dismiss the Council when they ask him something ( _ even faking his own death,  _ the bad memory suddenly returns).

This man looks like a sad, crumpled and pale imitation of Obi-Wan. The young knight hesitates to enter and to talk to him, or to simply hug him. But the other man was never really tactile and this moment is so private that he finally decides not to interfere. After all, he did this, all of it is his fault. He is the only one responsible for his master’s breakdown. Why would the renowned Negotiator cry if not due to his brother’s "betrayal"? The Jedi is certainly not mourning Palpatine… Or, is there something Anakin didn’t hear about? Something that happened on the star destroyer?

He silently closes the door and heads to Padmé's apartment. Padmé will understand, she is an expert when it comes to reading people’s souls.

  
  
  



	3. Bantha poodoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people talk about Obi-Wan's behaviour...

The Councilors doesn’t comment immediately on the behaviour of their fellow Jedi. They discuss the effects of the Chancellor's death for the Republic and various matters for the war effort. The news about Palpatine’s passing isn't on the Holonet yet, that lets them some hours to begin a discreet investigation appointed by the Senate. They decide that Mace Windu will be in charge of the inquiry. Clones are already searching the destroyer’s wreck for survivors (even if there were more droids than sentient beings) and holorecordings which survived the crash. The ship crashed on one of Coruscant’s moons; fortunately, there seems to be no ground casualties. 

As soon as the meeting is finished, Master Windu sighs, and glares at Yoda.The latter knowingly looks back at him. 

“A problem with our Obi-Wan’s aura, there is.” The Grand Master of the Order states, appending his paws to the top of his walking stick.

“I felt it too.” Mace confirms. “But he was too well shielded. I couldn’t read him.” 

“Completely shield from me, he cannot. Since the Creche, I have known him. Fear, grief and pain, I sensed. Worrying, it is, hmmm. ” Yoda tells his comrades, shaking his head, and lowering his ears. 

Plo Koon nods, getting lost in his thoughts. He remembers Kenobi’s eyes: two sad, tired and old lightless orbs.

“According to Skywalker’s report, Dooku was disabled. He escaped anyway. Do you think Obi-Wan lied to us?” the Korun Master asks, frowning. 

“It seems that he hid something, but I don’t think he lied. Obi-Wan is honest in essence, and he trusts us. He is faithful and efficient, we can say he is one of the best among us.” The keldor answers, his mask making his voice sound almost metallic, as he speaks in a soft tone. “We never had any reason to doubt his acts or words. And why would he lie?”

Mace only shrugs. “This war transforms a lot of good men. I’m not saying he is a traitor or that he did something wrong, but we agree that he didn’t act like himself today.”

“Obi-Wan had always been the type to deprecate himself. Maybe he simply is ashamed of the mission’s failure. After all, the Chancellor is dead, the Republic will now be unsettled. And Dooku’s arrest, if succeeded, could have been an end to the war... Perhaps he feels responsible for this debacle. He had the chance to get things right and everything went wrong.” Plo tries to analyze the situation, using the elements he knows about his friend and fellow Councilor. 

“Or perhaps there is more about this… Good men can fall.” Mace comments, but he doesn’t believe in his own word. Obi-Wan is shining with Light. Or was shining. The black-skinned man couldn't’ feel the aforesaid light today.

Master Koon shakes his head. He certainly doesn’t agree.

“Frustration, he must control. Led by his emotions, he must not be. Control, he might lose. Afford it, we cannot. Hmmm. Speak to him and understand, we must. Something happened, yes.” Yoda says. The sound of his walking stick is heard, as he starts leaving the Council chamber. 

“I will talk to him.” Plo offers. The others only nod, and the three of them get out. 

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

It’s almost night time when Anakin gets to the 500 Republica. He drives rapidly to the balcony, zigzagging amidst the dense Coruscant’s aerian traffic. If Obi-Wan was with him, he would have told him to slow down a thousand times. Thinking of his master, he sighs. 

He just leaves his speeder when Padmé comes to welcome him. They share a soft kiss and go inside. 

C3PO seems also very happy to see him. “Oh Master Skywalker, what a lovely surprise! I was worrying! ” He exclaims and launches into a long story that nobody listens to. 

“Ani, I didn’t think you’ll come today.” Padmé finally says, a large and genuine smile decorating her lips, as soon as the annoying droid is dismissed. 

The young man feels embarrassed and looks down for a few seconds. His eyes shine with sadness and lack of understanding.

“I… I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you about my coming, but… I need you tonight.”

The lady frowns and crosses her arms against her chest. 

“Is this about Obi-Wan?” she asks, her smile becoming more mischievous. 

“Er...Yes, from a certain point of view. How did you guess?”

“I don’t know… Perhaps because, currently, it’s always about Obi-Wan.” She answers, remembering the lengthy conversations during which Anakin explained that Obi-Wan was jealous, that he held him back, that he didn’t trust him enough. She thinks that her husband is too hard on his former Master. Obi-Wan is only a man and has failings, but he is a good person and a dear friend. Anakin always portrays him as the perfect Jedi - which means emotionless and inflexible; from his point of view. 

“Chancellor Palpatine is dead.” Ani simply tells her. Only the great authorities of the Senate were aware of this bad news for now, but the fact will be soon enough made public. 

Padmé puts a hand on her mouth as she feels the effects. Palpatine wasn’t a friend of her, she felt something strange in him and was often discomfited in his presence. But Anakin liked him and often confided in him. He was a kind of mentor. Obi-Wan was the older brother and the Chancellor, some kind of father figure, even if not as close as the Jedi Master. 

“Oh Ani, I’m so sorry.” She says, taking him into an embrace. 

They sit on the couch. 

“I’m sad, frustrated and angry.” He confides in her. “I defeated Dooku, you know and Obi-Wan….He…” He sighs, and clenches his fist. He feels lost. He doesn’t want to, but he still is angry at his former Master, when it comes to the mission. “Palpatine’s death is his fault!” He exclaims. It’s easier to talk about Obi-Wan’s failure and reprehensible behaviour than his own. It’s easier to think that Obi-Wan, from a certain point of view, deserves lying alone on his bed, intoxicated, and crying his eyes out. It’s easier to elude the talk about the Force-choke, in the shuttle as the two men were nearing Coruscant's atmosphere. 

“I don’t understand. How can this be Obi-Wan’s fault?” Padmé is looking at her husband with wide eyes. She remembers a senior padawan who said the same sentence, but about his mother’s death.

“I defeated the Count, I cut his hands, he couldn't fight anymore. I was about to kill him, as the Chancellor instructed, but Obi-Wan, he… He used a Force suggestion and made me sleep.”

He lowers his eyes and sighs. But Obi-Wan was right to do so, wasn’t he? 

“Dooku killed the Chancellor, and escaped. At least, it’s what Obi-Wan told the Council.”

His wife raises her eyebrows, amazed. 

“He has an explanation, hasn’t he? Perhaps he wanted to protect you… Perhaps... If you killed Dooku… Oh Ani! He was unarmed, it would have been murder!” Padmé realizes, and jumps in apprehension.

“Yes, I suppose, I…” Ani sighs again. “Maybe I was wrong, maybe I lost control but… I don’t know what to think. Obi-Wan is acting weirdly.. It’s like he isn’t himself anymore. Obi-Wan explained something about Dooku killing Palpatine with the Force, but… It was… I don’t know how to describe it. There was something in his aura and he was shielding himself tightly, as we do on battlefields.” The young Jedi shakes his head. “How could Dooku escape ? Why did Obi-Wan give him enough time to kill the Chancellor and run away? I mean, it would be easy for my master to stop him as soon as he killed Palpatine. I can’t imagine a configuration in which Obi-Wan could be overwhelmed. And why would Dooku kill the chancellor? If it was his goal, he would have done it before! ” New questions pop in the Jedi’s mind. Good questions. 

“When I came to his room, after the Council meeting, he… I felt grief, and so much guilt, Padmé. Obi-Wan was crying. He never shows weakness like this… He is the master in emotion control. It scares me. If even Obi-Wan is breaking down...”

Guilt rises in his own mind as he says it. The Force-choke comes back to his thoughts.  _ Perhaps it was his fault. He betrayed his master by attacking him.  _

There are few seconds of pure silence.

“There’s more, isn’t it?” Padmé gently asks, holding his hand with one of her own. 

“I’m afraid for him. And I’m afraid of myself, Padmé. Maybe I’m to blame… When we were getting back to the Temple, I.. I really lost control, when he told me what happened. I.. I attacked him, I choked him, but it was only for a few seconds! My judgment was clouded, but I regained my composure!” he justifies his actions, his cheeks red with shame. 

His wife’s eyes are now as wide as two large saucers. “But Ani… How? How could you do that? He is your friend!”

“I know, I know! I acted like a kriffing bantha shit. But I will work on it!”

“Oh, you can say that.”

“Do you think it was my fault that… That… Is he in pain because of me?”

Padmé reflects. “Oh, you certainly disappointed him this time, Anakin. You’ll need to talk with him about it.”

“But… But I don’t think he wants to. Last time, he told me he forgave me, and that…” Anakin’s voice is almost a whisper. “It was supposed to be a joke, but he said he knew that I would be the death of him…” The Chosen One is now slumped on the couch. “I really screw up, this time, didn’t I?”

The Senator of Naboo nods.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not really satisfied with this chapter.. I hope you enjoyed it anyway!


	4. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan drinks way too much.

Obi-Wan is lying on his back. There are no more tears left, thus he only watches the ceiling with empty and red-circled eyes. He is so tired. So tired, and yet he cannot rest. He tried to sleep, but even one more bottle of alcohol didn’t help him to do so. Every time he closes his eyes, he can see the flames, he can see the dead padawans on the floor. He can see Anakin killing them without regret, in this damn hologram. He can hear the cries and the pleas. He can imagine the astonishment on their faces when they saw “The Hero With No Fear”, their idol, attacking them, murdering them. He remembers the pain in the Force, when Jedi were dying. 

The Temple really isn’t his home anymore, it seems more like a grave. Maybe he will cry to death and it will become his grave too.

He feels nauseous and his head is aching, as if a banthas herd is running inside. He finally decides to get up and to put his cloak on. He definitely needs to drink something more, but there are no drinks left. 

He hears a soft knock on the door. Who is this? He looks at the holoclock on the bedside table. He sighs, it’s really late, the person coming must have a very VERY important reason.  _ Oh Force, please, don’t let it be Anakin! I can’t stand to hear him apologizing again!  _

It’s always the same pattern with this boy. They argue a lot, then Anakin apologises and they go on, as if nothing happened - or almost. But when Ani apologises, it’s always more about himself and his own guilt, than his master’s feelings. How can the young man be so compassionate, so loving and so selfish at once? 

Their relationship has deteriorated since the start of the war, but it wasn’t simple either before. One day, a furious Anakin told his master that he wanted him dead instead of Qui-Gon Jinn. Now, Obi-Wan knows the teenager was right… Anakin needed a father figure, and Obi-Wan was merely more than a padawan himself at that very time. It’s sad to acknowledge this fact, but it’s the truth: Obi-Wan never was what Anakin needed as a Master.  _ It isn’t a surprise that he failed. _

It’s his lucky day -or maybe not really-, because it’s not his former padawan that stands on the doorsteps, but Master Koon. 

Obi-Wan dries the sweat on his forehead with his sleeve and tries to grin, but his smile looks more like a grimace or a spasm than a genuine facial expression.  _ Kriff it.  _ At that very moment, he looks more like a prowler than a Jedi Master. His hair is dishevelled and his face pale. Red circles around his eyes and nose proves that he cried. 

“Plo.” he greets his fellow Councillor. “I didn’t expect you. Did something happen?” He asks as clearly as he can in his intoxicated state, but doesn’t shift to let his guest get by. 

“Can I come in?” Plo asks, discreetly noticing his friend’s aspect. 

Obi-Wan nods and walks toward the kitchen. 

“Do you..er… want some tea?”

“Oh yes, that would be nice, thank you.” comes the answer, in a cheerful tone. 

Obi-Wan focuses to brew the tea, then sits at the table in the living room, inviting Plo to do the same. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes.  _ Of course, it’s this kind of discussion.  _

“I’m fine.” he answers coldly. 

“You don't seem fine to me.” Plo interjects, eying the two empty bottles of jawa juice dropped on the floor. 

Obi-Wan sighs. 

“And how can I be?” he asks, violently putting down his cup of tea. If there were still tears left, he would have cried. His coruscant accent is pronounced and his voice is shaky under the alcohol’s influence. “When I was younger, as a child, I wanted to become a Jedi, because it was my vocation.” He explains. “We were peacekeepers of the Galaxy. We had a noble purpose. We followed the will of the Force.”

He drinks a swallow of his beverage to calm down, but he is trembling. 

“And look at what we became! Generals!” The last word is said with sarcasm. “Soldiers. Our padawans are child soldiers and we lead a slaves army. We lost our way. How could we accept that? For what? We are no more Jedi, just slaves of our own fears! Don’t you see that? We will fail and lose everything!”

He stands up and runs a hand over his face. He feels feverish and sweats again. He is ashamed, because, in the past, he was as blind as every other jedi. He was as passive as the others. His vision blurs, but Master Kenobi keeps talking.

“Maybe, after Geonosis, we had no choice but… Accepting an existing army of clones is one thing, but accepting the Senate’s vote to ‘produce’ - Urgh, this word is awful - more clones, more  _ canon fodder _ , it was against our fundamental principles! We should have opposed it! We speak about men! About sentient beings ! We are complicit in war crimes, even if the Republic does not want to name them that way. We should have refused! But no, we gave in to fear and we bowed under political influence! In the end, we may not be that different from the Sith themselves! We walk a dark path... A very dark path! We were blind!! So blind!!”

He is shouting now, pacing back and forth.

Plo raises a hand, sending calm waves through the Force to soften his friend’s anger. He can’t believe that Obi-Wan can be that angry, that he can give into rage like this. 

He feels his pain. 

“Listen, Obi-Wan. I understand; I feel the same anger when I think the Senate has refused to grant citizenship and rights to the clones. I consider them to be my children “ Plo is always fatherly. That’s why he got along so well with Ahsoka. She might have gained more by having him as her Master rather than Anakin. “But what is done is done. Now the priority is to end and win this war. We can be successful, the separatists are weakened and….”

His interlocutor cuts him short and the keldor struggles to keep his face neutral. 

“Win? What is there to win? We only lose : lose men, lose Jedi, lose our own way And we will keep losing. There were no winners in this war, only survivors. We are destined to lose.”

‘There were’? Plo frowns. He tilts his head on the side and waits a few seconds before carefully asking: “Obi-Wan, did you have a vision?” Everybody at the Temple knows that Kenobi was prone to visions when he was younger. Qui-Gon Jinn, who was more attuned with the Living Force, didn’t develop this capacity in his padawan. He preferred to stay in the here and the now. 

The red-haired man looks at his friend in silence, then nods negatively.

“I have to get out. I'm choking here. I need to go have a drink.” he simply answers, ignoring the question.

“You’re not in condition! You should rest… Come, I….”

Plo can’t finish his sentence, as Obi-Wan steps out of the room

“No! I’m fine. I need to be alone, Plo. Thank you.”

With these words, he slips through the main door.

Master Koon sighs and quickly taps a code on his comlink. 

“Mace, I think Master Yoda will need to handle this. Obi-Wan is breaking down.”

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

Anakin has trouble sleeping. 

Thus, he is not woken up by his beeping holocommunicator, he only acknowledges the call. He sits on the bed, and answers rapidly before the audio signal wakes his wife up. 

A clone appears, tickering in blue. 

“Sir, it’s late, but you said you wanted to hear about our progress.” All the clones have the same voice, but Anakin recognises Captain Rex. He is one of the clones dispatched for the investigation and Skywalker asked the soldier to keep him in the loop. 

“Rex, what’s going on?”

“We found the Chancellor’s corpse.” He tells his General, taking off his helmet. “It’s unbelievable, with this crash, but it’s almost undamaged. There’s only a lightsaber wound on his chest, which is the reason for his death.” Rex explains, in a military tone. 

Anakin opens his eyes wide. A saber wound? On his chest? That can’t be true!

“Are you sure?” The young Jedi asks, gulping nervously.

“Affirmative, sir. 100%. I sent the report to General Windu a few minutes ago.”

Anakin sighs. His heart is pulsing in his chest like a drum.

“Thank you for informing me, Rex.” 

“Sir.” Rex bows, and the hologram disappears. 

Anakin looks at the wall in front of him. The Chancellor was killed with a lightsaber? But that's not what Obi-Wan said! And Dooku couldn't use his weapon!

A sound behind him reveals that Padmé is awake. “Ani?” She turns around and gazes at her husband. “What is it?” she asks in a sleepy tone.

“It’s Obi-Wan.” her husband whispers. 

“Really? Again? Now?” Padmé frowns, as she sits on the bed, behind him. She puts her hands gently on his shoulders. “You seem nervous. What did he do?” She starts to massage him.

“I don’t know. Captain Rex just informed me that the investigation team found Palpatine’s body. He was killed by a lightsaber blow.” he sighs again. He’s angry again. “Obi-Wan lied to the CounciL; Worse, he lied to me!” In a way, he can’t help but feel happy that his former Master also lied to his precious Council. It’s childish, but, for once, he isn’t the only one sidelined. Unfortunately, this is yet another proof that Obi-Wan doesn’t trust him. 

“What does that mean? Do you think Obi-Wan might…”

“No. No suppositions.” he says, before whispering. “I don’t know. The only thing we learnt is that he lied. But why? Only he knows.”

First thing in the morning, he will talk to Obi-Wan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind comments! You're so nice! You're the best :)   
> You motivate me to write more and improve my language skills!


	5. A reassuring presence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend helps Obi-Wan to gather his courage...

Obi-Wan went to the Coruscant Underlevels. He found a cantina, which seemed to be the kind of establishment without good customs. Multicolor neons lights all around, loud music, and full of junkies. No other Jedi would go to this place - not even someone like Quilan Vos. Paradoxically, he will be able to relax there. 

He sits near the counter, and drinks some kind of flashy purple alcohol. He asked for the hard stuff and the waitress gave him this shit. Its flavor is horrendous, but it seems to help him forget. Thus, he is currently drinking his fifth glass when a Twi’lek woman approaches and eyes him with interest. It’s the third one since he set foot in this bar. 

“Do you need some company?” 

He shakes his head, and shows his glassful, indicating it. 

“I have all the company I need, my dear.” He says.  _ Get lost.  _ He thinks. 

He is in the process of finishing his tenth glass of this purple  _ delight,  _ when he hears a deep baritone voice from behind the counter.

“Padawan, what are you doing?” The voice asks. He looks up and sees Qui-Gon’s transparent figure. The ghost observes him with softness, but the young Jedi only sees judgment. 

“Ma...M..Ma...Master?” He asks. 

“Obi-Wan, what have you done?” Master Jinn’s eyes shine with sadness. 

For just a moment, Obi-Wan feels like a teenager again, and looks down, ashamed. Qui-Gon still has this ability. Kenobi keeps quiet for a few minutes, but then, raises his right hand, and shakes it, as if he is trying to chase a fly away. 

“Leave me alone! You’ve done it very well so far.” he cries. It’s true, since he time-travelled, his mentor didn’t deign to appear. He was lost and lonely, his friends were only memories, and he couldn’t look at Anakin without thinking of Darth Vader. He can’t stand to act as if everything is normal, because nothing is normal. He doesn’t feel strong enough to take action either. The only thing he wanted was to find peace in the Force, but even it rejected him. Now, he doesn’t know what to want anymore, what to do anymore. He isn’t able to think about others and he acts like a selfish stupid child. 

The bartender frowns and moves his head, looking left and right to see who he is talking to, but there is nobody. The zabrak sees a lot of weirdos here, but this hooded man must be one of the best representatives of the alcohol and drug's effects on the human brain. He is certainly very high. 

Obi-Wan is now chasing Qui-Gon’s ghost with both hands, as if he could grab it and chase it away. He stands up and leans over the counter. “Please…” he begs. 

Some customers are gazing at him out of the corner of their eyes, on the other side of the room. One of them, pushed by his comrades, hesitantly comes closer to the jedi. 

“Hi… My friends and I were thinking that maybe… What did you take? We would like the same thing! It seems really entertaining!” Obi-Wan doesn’t answer, so the man continues: “Don’t be stingy and share!” No answer. 

Still looking at his former Master, Obi-Wan simply Force pushes the undesirable element and swallows his drink’s last drop. He throws the empty glass in the ghost’s direction while the customer’s body crushes against the wall. The poor guy stands up and with scared eyes, rejoins a group of young people: “He’s insane!” , “Yeah ! Drop it! It’s a drunkard!” They say and go talk with the security guards. 

The bartender sighs. Wiping a glass with a not-so-clean cloth, he comes to the troublemaker. “Hey you! We don’t want problems here. Please go talk to your hallucinations outside.”

The jedi raises his eyebrows and slumps on his chair. “There, there… Mind your own business and give me another glass of this purple thing.” he orders. His voice is trembling and he stutters. 

His interlocutor shakes his head. “You had enough, you psycho!”

"I have enough credits, you can't deny me alcohol…I'm very able to..." 

“Like hell I can! You stink , you talk to yourself and you scare the other customers.” The bartender explains. 

“Obi-Wan.. He is right. You must come back to the Temple. You’ve had enough.” Qui-Gon’s voice says, and the jedi sighs. 

“I’m not listening to you. I’m not your padawan anymore!” Obi-Wan barks. His stammer mixed with his Core accent make his words sound strange, almost funny.

“Oh, you think so? Look at you… You don’t behave like a proper grown man and certainly not like a jedi.”

“Maybe I’m not a jedi anymore.” Kenobi whispers.

“You will always be a jedi, padawan mine.”

“You surely are a jedi.” The bartender interjects. “The Jedi are crazy weirdos and you’re a crazy weirdo. Whoever you are talking to, please go carry on with your discussion outside.”

“Oh! Shut up!” Obi-Wan shouts, irritated. At that very moment, a security guard accosts him and grabs him by his wrist. It’s a Rodian, who seems very aggressive and angry. 

“Ok, ok, I’ll go, you don’t need to drag me, gentleman!” Obi-Wan capitulates.

The red-haired man is thrown out on the street. 

He wants to puke, the nausea overwhelms him, but he manages to calm this unpleasant sensation. He sits on the floor, his back against a wall, between two garbage dumpsters. His head is lying against the cold metallic material and he keeps a hand on his belly. This purple hard stuff wasn’t a good idea after all. 

“Oh, my precious Obi-Wan…” The voice is soft and the thirty-something jedi would love to feel his master’s hand on his shoulder. When he was a padawan, Qui-Gon reassured him that way. 

"I know you’re in pain, but the Force gives you a chance to make things right and you are wasting it… look at you… you were so strong on Tatooine, you have suffered so much, don’t let it be for nothing...."

"Bantha shit.” Obi-Wan’s eyes are filled with tears, again. “On Tatooine there was Luke. He was the only hope for the galaxy. I failed. Luke died, like you, like everyone else. I tried, I tried so hard. With Anakin, too, I tried. But I was never enough."

He is a failure. Why Qui-Gon can’t acknowledge it? Yet he saw it when Kenobi was a child, he initially didn’t want him as his padawan.

“Enough! Stop acting like a sad bantha and stop withdrawing into yourself ! You’re not a selfish child, you’re a Jedi Master! Snap out of it, Obi-Wan! It’s not you! You need help, so go find help!” This time, the tone is authoritative. The ghost comes nearer and tenderly smiles. 

"Obi-Wan. Luke isn't even born yet. You have a second chance, can’t you understand that ? Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Don’t take this burden alone. I am proud of you and I will always be, little one. People make their own choices and you can't control them; but you can control yourself. You’re grieving, you’re losing yourself, instead of acting! Don’t let your emotions take the better of you."

There are a few minutes of silence. 

“I’m not strong enough anymore.” Obi-Wan whispers.

“You're here because you ARE strong enough, padawan. Don't dare waste this chance ! Please, pull yourself together! You were not chosen randomly. Follow the will of the Force, stop ignoring it. It’s still time…"

Obi-Wan runs a shaking hand over his sweaty hair and looks really ashamed, like a child catched with his hand in the cookie jar. He is pathetic. Qui-Gon’s words really make him embarrassed for his current behavior. His Master is right: he is acting like a crybaby. 

“When I arrived in this timeline, I thought it was some kind of vision. I didn’t really think about my actions. I was on autopilot and now… Now I’m lost, Master. I’m not the Obi-Wan Kenobi they know, I’m not even Ben Kenobi. I don’t know who I am. Nobody knows me anymore, nobody will understand me. I don’t feel safe at the Temple, I can’t even sleep in my own quarters. Each time I close my eyes, I see the Purge.” He finally explains, wiping tears with his sleeve. “I don’t understand why I’m here. I don’t deserve to be here.”

“Of course, you deserve it. And obviously, your friends can understand you, but only if you let them help you, only if you stop to hide yourself behind strong shields. Follow the will of the Force, and everything will be alright. Focus on the here and now.” the tall Jedi advises.

“Remember: Anakin is still Anakin, he isn’t Darth Vader, and he needs you as much as you need him.”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes, and sighs. 

“I am so tired, Master, and I am scared. Master, don’t leave me alone, please.” he begs. 

“Never” Qui-Gon answers. “But remember that your friends live here and now. They will help you if you ask them.”

And for the first moment since a long time, Obi-Wan can feel the warmth of the Force. It’s as soft as a flower petal, as warm as a genuine smile and as sweet as a candy. Oh! He missed it so much! He lets himself be lost in its touch and feels all the perfect lights in the Force, emanating from Coruscant's streets, but especially from the Temple. 

It’s not complicated to fall asleep anymore. He is afraid that if he moves, he will lose this wonderful feeling, so he lies down there, on the ground, on the street, between these two stinky bins. It doesn’t matter, because he feels right. 

Tomorrow is a new day. He will gather his courage. The bartender was right: He stinks. He will go back to the Jedi Temple, take a hot shower, put fresh clothes on and go talk to Anakin and the Council. But for now, he needs rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be "action" in the next chapter :)


	6. GalaxyNews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't lie forever... And Obi-Wan should have told the truth before...

Anakin is lying on his wife’s bed. He is alone, Padmé just finished taking a shower and headed to the living room. He is thinking about her pregnancy. She announced the good news just after his return to the Temple. He is really happy with the perspective of being a father, but this situation adds a lot of worries to his existing ones. They didn’t talk about it yet, but he knows that he will have to make choices. Perhaps he will leave the Order and raise his child with Padmé on Naboo. But he knows he can’t do that before the end of this kriffing war and the senator won’t ask him to. The Hero With No Fear is needed and he won’t fail his men, who rely on him.

The Future is clouded and nobody can guess when this war will end. 

Another subject floods his mind. He can’t stop thinking about the Chancellor’s death and Obi-Wan's lies. Oddly, he doesn’t ask himself “What happened?”, but rather “Why?”. Why would his former Master lie to him? It makes him angry, it proves the lack of trust between them. And then, the young man remembers that he lied multiple times to Obi-Wan too, starting with his marriage. Maybe if he tells him the truth, his Master will reciprocate. If Obi-Wan was able to lie to the Council about something as important as Dooku and Palpatine, perhaps he will agree to cover his deviation from the Code. Maybe he will forgive him for the accident in the shuttle? Anakin knows that he will need to discuss his Master/Padawan relationship with the mind healer. He hasn't taken an appointment yet, but he will soon. First thing after talking with Obi-Wan. Yes, that’s a good plan. 

He sighs. His comlink beeps and the young jedi carelessly answers, removing his blanket. 

“Skywalker.” Mace’s voice rises. “Is Obi-Wan with you? He isn’t answering his com and we weren’t able to locate him so far.” 

Anakin shakes his head out of habit, even if his interlocutor can’t see him. 

“No. Why?” He asks. 

There is a minute of silence. It seems like master Windu hesitates over unveiling the truth. He finally speaks again. The knight can swear that he hears sadness in the Councilor’s deep voice. 

“We have a situation. Turn on the holonet.” he says, before hanging up.

Anakin puts his com down and goes to the living room. Padmé is already watching the news with an astonished expression on her face. One of her hands rests on her mouth, the other lays on her belly, and she sits on the couch, gazing at the holonews. When her husband walks into the room, she looks at him with dawning tears in her beautiful brown eyes. She’s sad and disappointed; Anakin didn’t need the Force to feel it. 

“Ani, I’m sorry.. That’s not good news.”

She simply states that, and turns up the volume.

A young Rodian reporter, standing in front of the Senate building, is speaking into a microphone. The reptilian humanoid wears a strict expression. On the bottom of the holo, there is a huge sidebar containing the following bold sentences: 

_“Are the Jedi traitors? Master Kenobi of the High Council - clone wars hero known as The Negotiator - implicated in Chancellor Palpatine’s murder!”_

Obi-Wan’s picture is displayed on the left side of the screen, with an accusatory subtitle: _“Criminal on the run?”._

Anakin thinks that his legs won’t hold him anymore. He lets himself fall to the couch. “No..” he whispers, while the journalist explains the circumstances in detail. 

“This morning, we received in exclusivity this holorecording, fortunately found undamaged in the wreck of the Stardestroyer where Chancellor Palpatine was killed yesterday. The anonymous source assured its authenticity. As you can see, Master Kenobi shrugged off Master Skywalker before…”

Knight Skywalker is not listening anymore, he only watches as his Master lays him on the durasteel floor and kisses him on his forehead. He doesn’t remember his master displaying such affection since he was a small blond kid. Obi-Wan never was really tactil and this kindness is touching. It warms the boy’s heart, but the warmth disappears as soon as the rest of the recording is played. It leaves him speechless. 

Master Kenobi speaks to Palpatine. There is only a visual recording, and Anakin can’t hear what his Master is saying. He watches, shocked, his Master igniting his lightsaber through the Chancellor’s chest. Then, the viewers can see the red-haired man casually talk to Dooku. The holorecording is cut there, at that very moment. Dooku is smiling, and there is a glint of pride in his eyes. The viewpoint of the camera doesn’t show Kenobi’s facial expression. 

“Clearly, Master Kenobi killed the Chancellor in cold blood. We see the poor man was tied to his chair and couldn't defend himself. Is Obi-Wan Kenobi in cahoots with Dooku? One thing is certain, there is fog surrounding these events. It seems Master Kenobi is a traitor to the Republic. Is the Jedi Order his accomplice? The Temple representatives don’t answer our requests so far.”

Now, a senator is speaking, vehemently shouting. Anakin recognises him. Obi-Wan and his padawan protected him in the past, before the war, when this man was the target of a violent group of terrorists on his home planet. It makes him nauseous to hear him badmouth his master that way. 

“How can you explain that Master Kenobi isn’t arrested yet? Of course, the Jedi are covering him..He is one of them! He is a member of their High Council! They are dangerous, I repeated it since the first day of the war. Chancellor Palpatine was right when he asked the Senate to keep them on a leash ! After all, Count Dooku was one of them! What’s the difference?”

The senator shakes his head and adds: “I learnt that Dooku was the Master of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Master. Interesting, isn’t it?” 

The rodian thanks the politician for this ‘enlightening’ interview and then asks a Coruscant citizen about his opinion, puting the microphone before his face, in a swift gesture. 

“All I know is that they were supposed to be peacekeepers. They didn’t do their job well as we can all see.” The man simply answers, pouting.

Another passer-by gives his perception:

“I met Master Kenobi once. He was really kind, and he had beautiful eyes. It’s hard to believe him to be a traitor. This war destroys good men, that’s sad.”

The rodian smiles with empathy and continues: 

"The election of a new Chancellor will occur in a ten-day. The favorites for the position are currently Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan and Senator Miles Mionir of Kamel. Neither of them is standing for the forthcoming election yet."

A recording of Bail Organa entering the building is displayed. He seems to avoid the reporters as the questions burst out. He looks lost. Poor Bail. 

“We will know more about the situation in the next hours. That was Jamil Kobek for GalaxyNews.”

Padmé uses the remote to turn off the holonews.

“They broadcast that on a loop since I woke up.” Padmé comments, then sighs. 

Anakin is speechless for a few minutes. He breathes, trying to calm down, closing his eyes. He tries to find Obi-Wan in the Force, to feel his beautiful Light through their bond, but it seems to be blocked. 

“Where did they find this shit?” Anakin eventually asks, standing up, clenching his fists as his jaw is shaking nervously. “This must be fake!” He shouts. “I can’t believe that!” He shakes his head and runs his hand over his face. 

“The Jedi have a bad reputation now. At the beginning of the war, the public opinion was idolizing them. Now, some people think you are responsible for this war.” Padmé simply answers. 

“But that’s bantha poodoo!” Anakin cries. “We are dying in this war, to ensure the Republic a future! And they treat us like… like… malevolent bandits!”

He needs to break something, so he does. Grabbing a vase, he throws it against the wall. 

“If I find the little shit that sent this recording to GalaxyNews, I'll kill him!” Anakin exclaims, pacing up and down.

There were not only clones deployed to research survivors and information, there were also Senate guards. The bugger must be one of them. 

“Ani… please… sit down. You’ll do nothing good if you don’t…”

Anakin doesn’t listen to her anymore. He rushes out to the sleeping room and grabs his comlink. He taps Obi-Wan’s code. No answer. He taps it again, and again, and again, and again, with the same result. It seems that his Master is not reachable, even for his former padawan. 

“Oh. I have a bad feeling about it.” he murmurs. Normally, it’s Obi-Wan’s favorite sentence. 

He quickly puts his clothes on and heads to the Temple. 

Padmé sighs and slips her coat on. She will find an answer in the Senate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am sadistic. Obi-Wan just decided to tell the truth, but was overtaken...


	7. Fallen jedi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Council is going crazy.

Obi-Wan wakes up with a hangover and on a dirty floor, in a seedy alley. He looks around: was all this a dream or was Qui-Gon really here? Where is he? He takes a few seconds to recall the events which took place the night before. 

He tightens his cloak, dusts himself and closes his eyes. The warmth wasn't an illusion, it’s always there, in the Force. It pulsates and wraps him in its sweet embrace. How could he manage to live even a minute without it? 

He decides to meditate for a while, to recenter himself before coming back to the Temple, and sits in the lotus position. Now, is the time for the ultimate choice. He needs to think, will he tell about the time-travel or rather say it was a powerful vision, as Plo Koon thought it was? He fears that nobody will believe him. 

But, no sooner has he started to get absorbed in his meditation that he hears an annoyed shout and footsteps coming nearly. 

“Hey! You! You, filthy womp rat! You think you’re in a hotel? That’s my place! Go find another!” A short bearded man with dark long hair and blood-injected eyes appears from behind one of the garbage bins and gives the Jedi a slight kick. 

“Oh.” Obi-Wan says, and jumps, standing up. His head hurts at the sudden gesture. “I’m sorry, I’m leaving.” He bows, showing his hands in a sign of peace. No need to start a fight.

His interlocutor groans, stares at him a little longer and finally nods. 

The Jedi sighs and checks his belt for his comlink. Oh yeah, he let it at the Temple. He tries to find a speeder taxi, but none seems to stop. Indeed, the drivers must be afraid of his appearance, he must look awful. 

Finally, almost thirty minutes later, a young woman pities him and stops her vehicle in front of the cloak-wearing man. “Need a ride?” she asks. He nods. “Where?” she simply says, gesturing to indicate him to sit down in the back.

“The Jedi Temple.” he answers. The driver looks at him from head to toe, raises an eyebrow and shrugs. 

“As you wish.” she carelessly replies. 

One thing is sure, nobody treats him like a Jedi Master on that day. He slouches on the seat and puts on his hood. He tries to soften his headache, using the Force, but he can’t focus. The Coruscanti scenery goes by, as the Jedi thinks again about his talk to come. 

It will be difficult. 

He knows he should tell all the truth, but he is scared and something inside him whispers that the ‘vision excuse’ is a good one. Plo saw him drunk and lost, if he arrives with a time-travel tale, they will doubt his mental health - but, the way things look, it’s probably already the case. And he can deny the facts anymore: he needs a mind healer. The first step will be to convince the Council and the Senate to set up an inquiry about Palpatine’s secret identity. Then, only then, he will tell them about the murder he committed. 

Finally, the speeder stops before the Temple’s gates and Obi-Wan pays the fare. 

In front of the building, there is a perfect hurly-burly. Master Kenobi’s eyes widen as he stares at the mass of reporters agglutinated near the main doors. What happened? He feels anxious, thinking that it might be related to his actions, but gets this thought out of his head.

He quickly hides behind a pillar and rubs his beard. Clearly, he can’t be seen in his current state, smelling alcohol and wearing dustfull robes. Some hours ago, without the intervention of his Master, he would not care, but, now, that’s a whole different ball game!

“Oh, I have a bad feeling about this.” he murmurs, as his eyes scan the crowd for a potential breach.

His only hope is a diversion and, thanks to the Force, it comes in the form of a senior padawan going down the stairs. The poor boy isn’t ready for the wave of humans and aliens pouncing on him, microphone in hands and a huge amount of questions falling from their lips. The young man’s eyes widen with fear as he gauges the situation, thinking about turning around.

“Sorry, little one..” Obi-Wan whispers, feeling bad to let the padawan alone with the wolves. _But your sacrifice is for a good cause!_ He runs, gathering the Force around him to hide his presence, as he passes the stairs, then the doors. He doesn’t think anymore as he throws himself into the elevator, breathless. 

Finally, he enters his quarters, at the masters level. He goes to the kitchen and drinks a big glass of water, humidifying his dry throat, and takes medicine against his hangover. He takes off his dirty clothes and gets to the ‘fresher. He takes a shower, and brushes his teeth. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he hesitates a few minutes, running his hand over his beard. He isn’t the famous General Obi-Wan Kenobi, nor Ben the wizard. He needs to start over again. His self-esteem hits rock bottom, and he can’t look at his own face anymore. He needs to detach himself from his past. 

He shaves his beard, but he leaves his hair as it is.

He hesitates over checking his com or turning on the HoloNet, but decides otherwise. 

He pulls on fresh clothes and heads to Anakin’s quarters. He must confide on him first, to show his former padawan that he trusts him. 

But nobody answers the door. Obi-Wan frowns, sighs, and goes to the Council Room. At least, he will finally learn what happened to draw the attention of every journalist living in Coruscant. 

_Nobody could have guessed what happened on the Star Destroyer… ? No, impossible!_

He gathers his courage, and moves forward. 

The padawan at the entrance shakes his head. “Sorry, the Council is in a meeting.”

Obi-Wan raises his eyebrows. The young man presses his lips. 

“Oh sorry, Master Kenobi, I… I.. I didn’t recognize you without your beard.” He says, but he looks.. Scared? Amazed? Surprised by the presence of a Counselor at a Council meeting? 

“Oh I really have a bad feeling about this…” The Jedi master murmurs, as the doors open to let him in.

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

The Council is ready to go into battle. It has been in session for hours, debating how to proceed. How to respond to the journalists and the Senate? The Jedi Order’s name is dragged through the mud on the whole HoloNet now.

Normally they would have sent their famous Negotiator to deal with the situation but… it is an understatement to say that it isn’t a viable option.

Everybody is shouting and trying to get themselves heard. Only Master Yoda silently observes the debate, his ears lowered and a severe expression on his face. 

“But, Masters! He ran away! That’s the proof we need! How can you explain his absence?” Kit Fisto exclaims. “He was my friend too, but one must recognise that his behaviour only confirms the accusations.” He sadly shakes his head. “We must expel him from the Order.”

Mace only sighs. Plo Koon disagrees. 

Shaak Ti reacts. “We can’t expel him if he isn’t here to defend himself and without a proper mind probe. There must be an explanation.” 

Anakin Skywalker showed up at the meeting, and since the beginning, stands angrily amidst the circle of chairs, refusing to leave..

“Just like I've told you a hundred times already! He was framed!” the knight shouts, trying to regain his composure. “It’s Obi-Wan you’re talking about! How can you even think he is a traitor? That makes no sense!”

“I saw him yesterday evening, there was no darkness in him!” Plo repeats for the tenth time. 

Another Master chips in. 

“You also said that he was drunk and you doubted his mental health..”

Plo clenches his teeth.

“No, I said he felt lost and needed help to.. center himself.” He explains, calmly. The Keldor would have preferred to keep the conversation he had with Obi-Wan between himself, Mace and Yoda, but with the current situation, he had no other choice than to share it with the whole Council.. 

“He has fallen!” Agen Kolar states. “It’s crystal clear!”

“We have no proof of that!”

Mace doesn’t know what to think anymore. 

“We can’t let our attachment to him blur our judgment…” he finally says. He is truly annoyed.

“You’re going to pain him the same way you hurt Ahsoka! You’ll betray him!” Anakin bursts, clenching his fists. 

The doors open.

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

Obi-Wan sighs, stretches out and enters the room. 

“Hello there.” 

The Councilors turn their heads to his direction as one man, frowning. Only Yoda seems to have expected his coming. 

They look at him with an almost neutral expression, but the tension is palpable. 

“You see! I told you!” Anakin is standing in the center of the room, a huge smile on his lips. 

“I told you he would come!” he exclaims. 

“Master! Tell them you’re innocent!” the young knight says, grabbing his friend by his wrist to bring him at his side. 

Obi-Wan swallows and closes his lips sharply. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, innocently. He prays to the Force, hoping it isn’t what he thinks it is. _Please, don’t tell me I’m too late and they know about what I did! I needed to be the one to tell them about it!_


	8. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan talks to the Council, but it doesn't go as wanted. A broken soul can't be repaired easily...

Anakin’s grip on him is tight and hurts a bit, but Obi-Wan doesn’t move nor try to detach himself from his padawan’s hand. His heart remembers to him that he is still alive by beating fiercely. The Jedi Master squints, the light in the room doesn’t go well with his hangover, despite the medicine. He senses animosity, and it doesn’t help him to tranquilize. 

“We thought that you would explain to us what’s going on…” answers Kit Fisto, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. “Didn’t you see the HoloNews today? You are good press for the Order!”

Plo Koon chips in before Obi-Wan can react. 

“Where were you? We tried to contact you. We were worried about you.” he comments, giving his colleague a warm smile. “We are all happy to see you safe and sound.” he adds, obviously trying to ease the tension. 

Kenobi offers a grin, giving the keldor a thankful look; he needs friends.

. 

“I am sorry. I was sleeping.” 

“Sleeping?” Kit Fisto bends forward, moving nervously on his chair. “Not in your quarters, we checked.” 

“Ah.” Obi-Wan answers, hiding his hands in his cloak’s large sleeves, to prevent the Council from seeing them shaking. Anakin seems a little disturb by his gesture. “I went to see an old friend. It was late, I slept on site.” He clears his throat and opens his mouth to speak again, but Kit is faster. 

“Oh, I see. Is this friend of yours a separatist? Maybe Count Dooku himself?” The Nautolan implies. 

“What?” The word is said with difficulty. 

_ Oh, they know! It’s sure, they know! There is no doubt anymore! _

Kit isn’t the mean kind, but he seems very upset and Obi-Wan isn’t surprised. If they learnt about the events onboard the Star Destroyer, he can be thankful that they speak to him yet.

“Master Fisto, you are a…” Anakin is cut short before saying something he could regret. 

“It is obvious that you don’t know about the news. We will show you.” Mace offers. His interlocutor nods, thus the Korun Master hits a button. A holorecording is displayed in front of them, flickering in blue. 

Obi-Wan holds his breath, as he watches his own behaviour on the ship. The footage starts with Anakin falling asleep and ends with Dooku smirking at his grandpadawan. On the recording, the Jedi looks like a soulless droid and Obi-Wan himself has trouble to acknowledge what he did. It was completely stupid, even if it was for the good cause, but he wasn’t himself. He killed the man in cold blood. At that very moment, Palpatine wasn’t a direct threat. But, on the other hand, Obi-Wan doesn’t regret his action: the Galaxy got rid of its greatest villain. 

Master Kenobi closes his eyes as the holo disappears. 

“It is fake, isn’t it?” Anakin asks a rhetorical question. Oh, his padawan is so sure that his Master is perfect, that the man who raised him isn’t capable of this kind of murder, that Obi-Wan is so much better than this. How can he disappoint him? At that very moment, the Jedi knows that he is about to break Anakin’s heart. The knight will see his Master’s hypocrisy.

“Yes, what do you say for yourself?” Another Counselor asks.

Kenobi looks down, sighs and gazes at his friends, except Anakin. He doesn’t want to see his face when the truth is revealed. He can’t stand to see tears, disappointment, or worse, hate in the boy’s pale eyes. 

“This footage is genuine. There are no special effects, no faking.” he announces. “I killed Chancellor Palpatine.”

“You see, I told you so!” Anakin exclaims, before the meaning of his former Master's words hits his mind. “Wait what?” The Hero With No Fear’s voice is hoarse, and breaks. 

There is shock, disappointment and disgust on the Council members' faces. Obi-Wan doesn’t dare to turn his head to see Anakin, but he feels his emotions in the Force. The young man is bubbling, struggling to find balance as the news overwhelms him. 

Yoda’s eyes shine with sadness, but it is Mace who takes the floor first. 

“Why?” he simply asks. 

_ "It is the moment to tell them the truth." _ The Force whispers all around him, too loud. He keeps his face as neutral as possible. They all look at him like at a fool, and he remembers the conversations he had about space-time theories, at the archives. He recalls specifically a time when everybody reached agreement that time-travel was impossible. They see through him. They see his hangover, in spite of his efforts to hide it, they know about his discussion with Plo Koon, they know he spent the night outside the Temple with someone, and not another Jedi… They won’t believe him.  _ Sorry,  _ he whispers to the Force and especially to Qui-Gon. The pain is always here and he has trouble trusting the Force again. He felt abandoned. 

So he finds another approach. Almost as dumb as everything he did since his ‘return’. 

"It was the right thing to do…" He starts.

“Murder never is the right thing." Someone interjects. 

“No, you have to understand… Palpatine was evil. He was the Sith Lord we were looking for. He pulled the strings of the war, on the two sides and from the beginning." His tone is pleading, and he feels like a stupid garbage again.  _ You see, Qui-Gon, I was right.  _ He tries so hard to overcome his pain and his self-flagellation, but bad habits die hard.

"What? You killed him because you thought he was a Sith?" Mace asks, and his eyes widen. 

"It is a serious accusation. Do you have any proof?" Plo Koon continues, trying to not imply judgment in his question. 

"You'll find evidence if you look for it… I.. " Obi wan replies, clenching his teeth. “I’m sure there is some proof even at his office at the Senate, if it’s not destroyed yet. He was so confident, and we were so blind that…”

"How did you know?" Kit barks. 

Obi-Wan is so scared. They aren't displaying friendly behaviour, they are already condemning him. Qui-Gon was wrong: they won’t help him, and he must do everything to avoid being classified as crazy. He wants to listen to the Force, but, at the same time, he can’t help but lies. He doesn’t want to give them a stick to beat him with. Maybe he has no friend anymore.

"I had a vision." he finally says, and for the first time he gazes at Anakin; his last hope to see support. The young knight is mute, standing helplessly near his Master. When their eyes meet, Obi-Wan feels ashamed. The poor boy is really shaking.  _ Anakin, sorry. Forgive me. It’s the Truth, please trust me!  _ He begs through their already thin bond.There is no response.

The Jedi Masters open their eyes wide and look at him with.. disgust? A vision? Their friend killed the chancellor because of a vision?

"I mean, Dooku told me. He started in Geonosis… but we wouldn't listen. We all were too arrogant to see what was under our nose!" He tries to save face. 

The room bursts in voices, everybody talks at the same time. Mace Windu raises a hand to hush his fellow Jedi and speaks:

"Dooku is a Sith. He deceived you to do his dirty work, Obi-Wan.” 

“We supposed there was someone working with the Sith in the Senate. We were true. Look at it, it is evident. “ The accused Jedi continues, trying to keep his composure, but he bleeds sadness inside.

“Palpatine had no consideration for Life. He didn’t help the Clones, our soldiers ! He asked Anakin to kill an unarmed man, and it wasn’t the first time… Remember the Zillo beast... He...”

“That’s no proof. That is unfortunate, but the majority of the population don’t consider the Clones as human beings.” Ki-Adi Mundi steps in. 

“He was interested in Anakin, since he was a boy, because he is the Chosen One! He wanted him as his new apprentice!” Obi-Wan says, his voice trembling, as he starts to stutter. With all the eyes on him, he feels broken, weak… He was alone for a long time, he wasn’t used anymore to this exercise. The Negotiator doesn’t exist anymore, not in the same way.

Shaak Ti hops up and down on her seat and ends up asking:

“Why didn’t you come to us? Why did you decide to keep this… er… suspicion to yourself?”

At the sound of her voice, he knows she isn’t convinced by his story. Nobody is, not even Anakin.The latter might think that Obi-Wan was jealous of his relationship with the Chancellor.

"You wouldn't believe me. It seems that I was right with this assumption." he answers. 

Plo sighs. 

"Obi-Wan, don't be on the defensive. We only want to help you.." 

The redhead feels disagreement in the Force. Some of them already want him in jail, to pay for the disgrace he brought to the Order. He can feel it.  _ Oh dear, Qui-Gon was so wrong! He can’t ask for help, because the help they want to give him isn’t the one he needs! _

"Help me?" he asks. "Oh… I see… So why all this bitterness in the Force? You think I am delusional…" he says, raising his hands and breathing heavily.. "I am not Fallen and I am telling the truth!" He shouts. He is panicking now, and can’t keep control. 

"We are in the path of the Dark Side. We must act…" he continues. 

"Oh says the man who randomly killed in cold blood…" ironises someone. He doesn't feel good enough to know who anymore. The voices are mixing in his mind.

" It's funny… They say that, in war, there are no murderers, only heroes and soldiers.. It's convenient that the separatists exclusively use droids, isn't it, masters?" Obi-Wan answers in a sarcastic tone.

"Too much, we asked for you. Not enough to help, we did. Failed you, we had. But help you, we will." the green troll gazes at him.

They think that's it, Obi-Wan has cracked. Mace and Yoda think that they put too much pressure, that he had too much work as he was the high general, adviser, Counselor... They have some reports from Rex and Cody who indicate that he was not getting enough sleep during his latest missions. 

The young Master starts crying, tears silently running over his pale cheeks. Oh, that’s it: the return of the crybaby. He dries as much of them as possible with his robe’s sleeve and puts the most neutral expression he can on his face.

"And why, Masters? You don’t believe me… I know it, so why? Will you help me because you think it is the right thing to do or because you are afraid of me? That I will become one more 'powerful' enemy?"

Silence.

"Do not worry, my dear friends. I won't. Well, I don't think so."

Finally, Mace breaks the silence in which the room is plunged.

“Why did you let Dooku escape?” the Korun Master demands.

Obi-Wan swallows, gathering the courage, the Force, everything. His legs feel like gelatin.

“I didn’t. He really tricked me. I wanted to get him into custody.”

“So you killed Palpatine because he supposedly was a sith, but you let Dooku, the known Sith, the main enemy in this war, live?”

“Er...yes.” He can’t explain that.

“Interesting.” Kit Fisto comments, angrily. 

Obi-Wan shrugs.

“We would like to do a mind probe, if you agree.” Mace simply states the fact, ignoring Kit’s reactions. 

Master Kenobi hesitates, rubbing his chin, and finally nods. He can’t deny them this inquiry, it’s the only way to prove them that he isn’t fallen, and to show them what he was through.

“But only you, Master Koon and Master Yoda.” he says. The tension is brought to a fever pitch.

“The others, you don’t trust, hmm?” the GrandMaster of the Order asks.

“I’m not comfortable.” he simply answers. Yoda assents and Obi-Wan sits on the floor. 

Carefully, they help him relax and enter his mind, one after another.

He doesn't know what they see, he can't control it, he isn’t able to bring the important memories out, but he feels apprehensiveness emanating from his friends. He isn't able to guide them, so he clenches his teeth when they hit his damaged shields.  _ He wasn’t ready. Too broken. It was childish to think that one conversation with Qui-Gon will give him enough strength.  _ It's painful to have them in his mind, even if they are cautious and gentle. Plo sends waves of care and calm, trying to soften the pain as the three counselors navigate through his soul’s meanderings. 

Maybe they see some of his thoughts when he was on this damn dustball Tatooine, the idea of death, the ideas of broken hope. Maybe they see his cold feelings on the destroyer, his premeditation. Maybe his panic and fear, his despair. Maybe they feel some darkness in the void where the warmth lived a long time ago.  _ He wasn’t ready. _

He hopes they see the future, the future they manage to avoid thanks to his actions…

His head hurts.

The result isn't as expected. The masters look at each other knowingly and Yoda tightens his grip on his walking stick.

“Ill, you are. Very ill.” he says. "Broken your mind is. Separate the reality and your visions, you aren't able to." Yoda's ears drop to his shoulders, with sadness. He doesn't voice it but Obi-Wan reads between the lines :  _ In your current condition, a danger you are, to yourself and to others.  _ "Sorry, I am. Our failing, it is. Too much, we asked from you."

Obi-Wan is completely panicking now. He presses his lips together and shakes his head vehemently .

"No!" He cries. His neutral face dissolves, flooded by distress. 

"With all due respect, Master, no. I'm not ill!! Not the way you think,anyway.” He sighs. “ I just… ok I lied but… I… That's not that.. I just… I..I.. not a vision, I thought you would… But..I don't know why.. But… yeah I was alone so long and… yes that's it, I just…. No… I came from the future and…" he releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. His thoughts are messing up. "Listen!! Please listen for once ! For whatever reason, I time-travelled, but I wasn't ready and…That’s happened. That’s all. But I will never betray you!"

He stops, knowing how mad he looks, yelling absurdities in front of the Council, dancing from one foot to the other, his hands trembling and tears on his cheeks. 

"You were all dead and I wanted you safe and alive.." he finally whispers. He is now frantically rubbing his temples with both his hands. 

The redhead turns to Anakin. "Ani, you know it's true… You must believe me ! You must! Maybe it was harsh but it was the right thing to do!" He shouts. No answer, just a sad glare. 

Then, he looks down, defeated.

“You understand that your name can no longer be associated with the Order, under such circumstances. " Master Windu finally tells him, his tone full of regret and sorrow. 

He looks at him with large sad eyes. "Sorry, Obi-wan." He says softly. "You are under arrest for the murder of Chancellor Palpatine and, therefore, treason against the Republic."

The whole galaxy collapses around him. Tears run again over his cheeks. He doesn’t listen anymore. _ He is expelled. Expelled. Expelled. Expelled. Expelled. And the Senate will execute him. _

Anakin grabs him again. 

_ "I don't know if I believe you, Master, but I will look for this evidence. If it really exists, I’ll find it. I won't let you down.. I promise."  _ he announces, through their bond.


	9. Not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan feels a little better... (Really?) and an old friend comes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t follow the events of the clone wars season 7 regarding Ahsoka (but maybe Mandalore and Maul will come later!) I hope that doesn’t disappoint you too much <3  
> Thank you all for your kind comments and kudos!

Mace and Plo escort Obi-Wan. He doesn’t even look where they bring him, the sadness sinking from him in various waves to the Force. They were supposed to help him! Master Yoda promised it, and if the GrandMaster of the Order says something, it’s almost sacred. So why? Are they giving up on him? Will he stay in a Republic jail waiting for a stoning? Will he be the price to pay to calm the public opinion about the Jedi and the war? Will he be sacrificed by the will of the Senate? 

Obi-Wan starts to think that Darth Vader was right. The Council, not only lost its way, but is corrupt. And for the first time since his ‘return’, he feels anger.

His trail of thoughts is broken when Master Koon puts a hand on his back and gives him a comforting smile, inviting him to enter a room. Obi-Wan snaps out of his drowsiness and looks around, acknowledging his environment for the first time since they left the Council chamber. 

He isn’t in a jail, nor some kind of brig, but in the halls of healing. Surprised, he glances at his friends. 

Plo smiles and Mace simply nods. 

“Obi-Wan, we are sorry, but we need to show our good faith to the Senate. We needed to arrest you, and to detain you, but we know that you aren’t in a good enough condition to face a trial. We said that we will help you and we will." Mace explains.

“And the expulsion from the Order?” Kenobi asks in a small voice.

“It was necessary; for the same reasons.”

“"So what people say is more important than what I feel? There is no more solidarity between members of the Order?" he dares to ask. He knows that this is selfish. The Order’s survival is more important than his feelings. He always applied this rule. 

His interlocutor shakes his head.

“No, but, Obi-Wan, you admitted that you killed the Chancellor, in cold blood ! The only tangible element we have is the holorecording! We couldn’t act differently. Do you understand it?”

The Jedi Master doesn’t answer immediately. He can’t blame them, if he was this period’s real Obi-Wan, and someone else was accused instead of him, he would have had the same reasoning. 

“Yes, I understand.” he finally says, with a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. That’s true: Sith or not, he killed someone who represented no direct threat at that very moment.

“It’s logical that a ‘rogue’ Jedi is detained at the Temple.” Plo continues, miming apostrophes with his fingers when he says ‘rogue, trying to avoid to hurt his friend’s shaken feelings.

“I think that we can save some time, at least a couple of days, but Palpatine’s supporters in the Senate, who are a large majority, will want a military and quick trial. And everybody will want fast answers.” The Kel Dor sighs. “If they get too insistent, we will certify that you are ill. No doubt they will send a civilian psychologist to check ... We will have to make do..”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen.

“So, you want to tell everybody that I’m insane?”

“Put your pride aside. We only want to help you, and this is the best solution we have so far. You are ill: they won’t be able to get you soon.”

Master Kenobi nods shyly, a glint of pain in his eyes. That’s not pride, that’s just…He doesn’t want everybody to see his failure.

“What about Palpatine?”

“Skywalker has already volunteered to check on what you told us.“ Mace announces. The black-skinned man doesn't add anything more, but Obi-Wan knows he thinks it's more or less a waste of time. They all think he's burned out, and no longer recognizes reality. Then again, he can't blame them: the Chancellor was Dooku’s prisoner after all. It’s hard to imagine that someone would have organized so many attacks and kidnappings against himself.  _ And it’s harder to admit that we didn’t see what was under our nose. The Jedi became arrogant. _

Obi-Wan nods once more. 

“You will stay in this room for now. There’s a Force field, once activated, you won’t be able to feel the Force. But don’t worry, that's just temporary. After a couple of meetings with your mind healer, he will state if we can deactivate it.”

Oh. So they really fear him. Maybe they even think that he will try to escape. He looks down. Plo seems to read his mind and gently puts a hand on his shoulder. “I know it’s difficult, to feel like a prisoner in your own home, but you’ll be fine, I’ll watch over it.” 

“I assure you, you'll stay at the Temple and we will look after you." Mace adds. The Korun Master seems cold-hearted and is strict -all the padawans can testify about that-, but when one befriends him, he shows a totally other aspect of his personality.

Obi-Wan grins and the Masters leave the room. He didn’t have the presence of mind to ask if he could talk to Anakin. He will eventually ask his healer.

A padawan gives him a tunic and a legging to get changed, along with something to eat. He puts the clothes on, ignores the food, and lays on the bed, looking at the closed door. Imprisoned in the healings halls. He sneers. How ironic for someone like him...

Finally,  _ Qui-Gon was right _ . He isn’t alone, even if his friends don’t believe him yet. He closes his eyes and tries to rest.

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

Anakin decides to go see Obi-Wan as soon as possible - to check on him and to start his investigation-, but the young man isn’t allowed to do it as long as the redhead didn’t see a mind healer.

Certainly he would have an appointment the next day. He asks Cody and a bench of men to search Palpatine’s office as discreetly as possible, telling them he will join them later.

Padmé softly rubs her husband’s back as they are watching the news again. 

The same Rodian reporter is commenting on Obi-Wan's arrest and various senators lose their temper because the Jedi is kept at the Temple and not by Coruscant authorities. Anakin sighs, listening with disgust as they carry on badmouthing his former Master. Whatever happened, Obi-Wan is a great Jedi, who gave his life to the Order, and had to make sacrifices to protect people all around the Galaxy. And some of these people are wronging him today.

Even if the master and the padawan argue and don’t often reach an agreement recently, Anakin is categorical: Obi-Wan doesn’t deserve this awful treatment. He already suffers so much.

“How is he?” Padmé finally asks, doing her hair in a ponytail. 

“Thanks to the Force, he didn’t see all this bantha poodoo and madness. ” Ani replies, indicating the HoloNet. “But I was right. He wasn't himself. He will see a mind healer tomorrow, the Council thinks he is…” Crazy? No, he can’t say that. “Sick.”

“Oh. What’s going on? Is he injured or something?”

“No, no, it’s his mind. I think that’s a problem with the Force. He had visions.”

Padmé opens her mouth, ready to say something else, as Anakin’s holocommunicator beeps. He stands up from the couch and grabs the device. 

“Ahsoka?” he asks, as the hologram of a young Togruta appears. His eyes are as wide as two large saucers, and his mouth is opened with astonishment. She hasn't contacted him since her departure from the Order. Finally, he grins, and a huge warmth wraps his heart. She has grown up since then. He was worried about her, and feared that he wouldn’t see her ever again, but there she is, calling him. 

Padmé gazes at the hologram with surprise too, and wears a large genuine smile.

“How are you? Where were you? Is everything alright?” he bombards her with questions.

“Yes, I’m fine. And you?” She finally answers after a few minutes of silence, during which the former padawan observed her Master. 

“I missed you.” He simply says.

“I missed you too, Skyguy.” The tone is soft and another smile appears on her lips. She seems to hesitate for a moment, chewing her bottom lip. “I read things on the HoloNet.” She adds.There is silence, but Skywalker waits until she tells him more.. “Is… Is that true? Did Master Obi-Wan...?” Anakin can see that it hurts her to ask. “Is he fallen? Is he Dooku’s new apprentice?” The hologram is monochromatic but the Knight can swear he sees a glint of fire in her eyes, as she clenches her jaw. 

“What? No!” he replies, shaking his head. “No, he isn’t. He just… has some problems.”

Her expression softens and she smiles sadly.

“Pfff… I was sure he could never do that… Kill the Chancellor and betray the Republic, I mean.” She seems reassured, but looking at Anakin, she stands still. “What problems?” she demands. “What happened?”

Ani presses his lips before speaking again:

“Ahsoka, do you...er.. Plan to come to Coruscant? We could talk about it.”

“So it’s serious.” she responds. Her interlocutor nods. “ How much?”

Anakin hesitates but decides to answer:

“He really killed the Chancellor.”

She swallows noisily. 

“I can be there in four hours.”


	10. Ahsoka's in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin meets Ahsoka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I have some trouble writing some parts, so I decided to post this short chapter meanwhile... :) Hope you'll enjoy it.

Anakin meets Ahsoka at Dex’s Diner. The young Togruta looks so much older than the last time he saw her. Or maybe, Skywalker was too accustomed to her when she was his padawan, and didn’t notice that she grew up. _ Maybe that’s why Obi-Wan lectures him all the time? He always sees him as the little blond-haired child from Naboo.  _

She eats her burger with appetite as she explains what happened to her since her departure from the Order. She is vague, but her Master doesn’t press her.

At some point, Dex joins them, delighted to see the girl. With this war going on, it’s been a while since he has seen Anakin and his former Master, but Ahsoka, it’s been more than a while. He tells some jokes and gives them free bottles of juice. 

It is almost like the old times… They laugh together and remember some old adventures. 

But quickly, the conversation becomes more serious: one member of the Trio is missing at this table. 

“That’s awful what happened to Obi-Wan. I know he’s a good guy. All these reporters deserve punishment for spreading these bantha shits on the news.” The besalik finally comments. “I will pack some of his favorite desserts. Can I count on you to give them to him?”

Anakin looks down, a shiver runs down his spine. He had the same faith in his former Master. But now, he doesn’t know anymore what to think. He will help the redhead, for sure, but… Where do the lies stop ? And will he be able to really help him? Skywalker isn’t even certain that any proof exists and is afraid of the future. In spite of all their disagreements, he doesn’t want to lose Obi-Wan. Unfortunately, in the current configuration, he really could lose him. At best; the former Jedi Master might be sent to a mental health facility (if his condition doesn’t improve). At worst, he will be judged and executed for his crime. Anakin has mixed feelings on the matter: on one hand, Palpatine was his friend, and a kind figure in his life ( he always reminded him that he was a good Jedi, and gave him the congratulations he needed). But, on the other hand, he wants Obi-Wan to be right.

“Sorry, Dex, but I won’t be able to see him before tomorrow, at best. He is under arrest.”

“Arrest? Really? I stopped listening to the news and reading the HoloNet this morning. I couldn’t stand to hear this looping bench of lies.” The alien raises his four arms and shakes his head, saddened. 

Suddenly, a female robotic voice comes from the kitchen. 

“Dex, my dear, I need your help here!” FLO cries. 

“Okay,I’m on my way.” He gesticulates a goodbye to his friends and leaves. 

For a few minutes, there is silence, but it is broken soon enough.

“How is he?” Ahsoka asks in a low voice, sipping her drink. 

“I don’t know. As I already told you, Obi-Wan isn’t acting like himself. His display in front of the Council was… I didn’t expect that.” Anakin explains. Remembering his Master shaking and yelling, his eyes full of tears, is heartbreaking.

“He lied to them. To the Council… To me. He killed the Chancellor and showed no regret. And then, he started to…” 

He looks around and tones down his voice. 

“He spoke about visions… and then about time travel or something like that. He said everybody was dead. I didn’t really understand because he was panicked and incoherent. I never saw him speak like that before. His speech was totally rambling.” The young knight shakes his head and sighs. “He was crying…” He adds, in a sad tone. 

“Obi-Wan? Our renowned ‘Negotiator’ was crying and stammering before the Council?” She comments, eyes wide, putting her glass down. “How did the Council react?” she finally asks. “I read some things on the HoloNet, but I prefer to get the information from someone who actually was there.”

“They isolated him in a room in the healing halls.“

“The healing halls? Is he injured or something?”

“They think he is sick… And I must confess to thinking it too. They cut him off from the Force, but, apparently, his mind healer will decide if this is a necessary precaution. ” He pouts, remembering that he will have to see a mind healer too, and soon. Maybe Obi-Wan’s one? It isn’t a bad idea, their relationship is a great part of their lives. And Anakin force-choking his former Master isn’t a detail. 

“The day before yesterday, I caught him crying his eyes out on his bed. Then, he drunk himself stupid. He spent the night outside the Temple, with ‘a friend’.”

The knight sighs again, drinks the rest of his juice and continues talking: “First, I thought it was my fault. We had an...a violent argument earlier.”

Ahsoka only looks down, shoulders hunched up, head well down. 

“If even Obi-Wan breaks…” She says, but doesn’t finish her sentence; the implying is enough.

“He said the Chancellor was the Sith Lord we were looking for since Naboo’s crisis.” Anakin finally announces. 

“What?” Her eyes widen again. “Palpatine, a Sith Lord?”

She never was close to the old man, but she never sensed any evil in him. He was a politician, manipulative as all the politicians, and her Master liked him; as a grandfatherly figure.

“Do you believe Master Obi-Wan? Is there evidence of some kind?” she asks.

“He says we can easily find a proof. And I don’t know if I believe him. He lied, and it isn’t the first time.” Anakin sighs. Ahsoka knows that he thinks about the Rako Hardeen incident, among other things. “But he really looks sick! And I won’t let him down. I’m responsible for the inquiry about this… murder. I’ll have to work with the Coruscant authorities, but they already sentenced him and the whole Order. They won’t really help us and that's putting it mildly.” 

Ahsoka presses her lips together. “And… What about Dooku?”

Anakin raises his eyebrows. 

“Did Obi-Wan let him escape?”

“Oh.” The Jedi shrugs. “I don’t know, but I don't think so. I saw the rest of the holorecording, and it seems Dooku tricked him. Obi-Wan saved me…” ‘Saved’ is a bit much. After all, it was his former Master’s fault if he was incapacitated in the first place.  _ No, Anakin, don’t think like that… Obi-Wan is vulnerable. _

.

Ahsoka nods, relief engraved on her face.

“We found nothing at his office, and it’s extremely difficult to have access to his apartment…. Legally, but…” The knight’s look is full of meaning.

“Oh, I see. And I’m in.” She answers. Then, she sighs, plays with her fingers for a few seconds, before asking: “But if we find nothing at all?”

_ That’s a terrible possibility. _ Anakin thinks. 

“Then we’ll have to find and catch Dooku. Maybe he did something to Obi-Wan… The Council and the Healers didn’t feel anything, but… Maybe Dooku plagued him with a Sith spell or something? And for sure, Dooku must know the Truth about the Sith Lord.”

His interlocutor nods.


	11. Heart to heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan finally have a discussion.

“I’m sorry, Obi-Wan, but the decision I took yesterday can’t be fulfilled.” The mind-healer, a blue twi’lek named Galiena, says, in a soft and apologizing tone. Her interlocutor only nods in answer, looking down, ashamed, before speaking again. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I… I couldn’t control it. I was overwhelmed by… the nightmares.”

The healer smiles reassuringly. Last evening, she stated that the Force field could be deactivated for Obi-Wan needed to feel the Force to meditate and cure. But then, during the night, he displayed a really troubling behaviour. As he was sleeping on his bed, he started to shiver, then to move his limbs in all directions, his eyes rolling under his lids. He shouted and said some incomprehensible words. At that very moment, all the objects in the room started to levitate and float across the area, even the chairs and the small table, some of them broke. When Master Che entered and tried to wake him up and calm him down, he violently force-pushed her against the opposite wall. As a result, the poor woman had a cracked rib and a sprained ankle. Three padawan healers had to hold Obi-Wan and administer him a sedative.

He can understand why he will be cut off from the Force again: he is dangerous. He will be able to meditate only with Galiena or a Council member. He grits his teeth. Alone, he feels alone. He just achieved to feel the warmth in the Force again and he is forbidden to access it. 

“Do you want to talk about these nightmares?”

Obi-Wan sighs. “That’s about my friend, the one who turned and betrayed us.” The Jedi didn’t name the man when he tolds the woman his story. He doesn’t want Anakin to suffer from something he didn’t do.  _ Yet.  _ A voice in his head whispers.  _ No, he won’t! Not this time! Palpatine’s dead! _

Galiena nods. 

“How do you feel now, Obi-Wan?” She asks, probably afraid to let him relive the experience again.

There are few seconds of absolute silence, as the former council member rubs his chin, thinking. 

“I don’t know. I’m sad, I’m afraid for the future.” He says. “I can’t move beyond the past, it’s haunting me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m not sure anymore if I did the right thing.”

“Are you angry?” The mind healer cautiously asks. 

“I was. I was mad at myself, mad at the Jedi and their complacence. But I’m not anymore. I want to make it alright.”

His interlocutor smiles. “What do you think about a meditation session?”

“It...It would be great. Thank you.” He answers, and it’s his turn to smile. But the grin doesn’t reach his eyes.

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

When Anakin enters the room, he instantly feels the lack of the Force. It’s disturbing, but he tries to don’t think about it as he focuses on the laying figure of his former Master. The latter seems to notice it and turns around, looking at his pupil with bright eyes. He sits on the edge of his bed, tilting his head to one side. 

“Anakin.” He greets him, in a surprised tone. “You came.”

The young man frowns. Does his master think he will abandon him? 

“Of course I came!” He exclaims, almost angrily. 

Obi-Wan jumps. “So...Sorry.” He says, looking away and a sad gleam appears in his eyes.

“No! No…” The young man speaks quietly. ”Excuse-me, I didn’t want to startle you. It’s just… yes, I’m here. I’ll always be there for you, Master.” Anakin presses his lips. Stupid. Can’t you sometimes be mindful of your own words? 

A loud silence floods the place. 

Knight Skywalker gets closer to the bed. 

“I saw Ahsoka yesterday. She seems fine, but she is worried about you.” He finally says, trying to revive the conversation. 

Obi-Wan doesn’t answer immediately. Anakin tries to guess his friend’s thoughts, but without the Force, it’s impossible. “I don’t want her to get involved in this madness. She’s better away, far from me.” 

“No. She is your friend and you are hers. She wants to help you.” Anakin folds his arms. “Even if I would want to dissuade her, it wouldn’t work. She is as stubborn as an ewok.” He sighs and comes to the height of the bed. He carefully sits down next to the patient. “Obi-Wan, don’t turn us down, we want to help you.” He says, and hesitates to put a hand on the older Jedi’s shoulder.

The red-haired man is now glaring again at his former padawan. 

“So, you believe me?” He asks.

Anakin doesn't know what to answer. “I won’t lie to you. I want to believe you, but you must understand that… it’s complicated. You’re ill, Obi-Wan. I don’t blame you for… what happened. But I need time to investigate and if what you say is true, I’ll find enough proof, don’t worry about it.”

His interlocutor closes his eyes a few seconds and sighs. Anakin can see that his jaw is clenched and his body is tense. 

“You too think that I’m insane. You don’t believe me because you hate me!” The man finally states, crying it out as if someone was tearing his skin off.

“What?” Anakin is speechless. Where did that come from? “No, I would never hate you, Master.” He says, in a gentle but firm voice. Why would his friend even imagine something like that? That doesn’t make sense! Their relationship is damaged, but to hate his Master? Never!

Obi-Wan snorts and lets escape a sarcastic laugh -or rather a noise. “So you think.” He says. “I killed your friend, Palpatine, don’t you hate me for that?” He challenges his friend, frowning and clenching his fists.

“You are not yourself, that is not your fault and if he was the sith lord… I think it was the right thing to do.” Anakin hopes he didn’t worsen the situation.

“Don’t you make me responsible for your mother’s death, too?” 

Anakin swallows. He did. He thought Obi-Wan was responsible for that too. But not anymore. 

“You wanted something I couldn’t give to you. You wanted a father. You wanted praises, and I didn’t give you enough. I’m sorry, but a real mentor doesn’t praise you like this manipulative snake which was the Chancellor, he guides you, he helps you become a better man…. Even if it sometimes doesn’t please you! I did my best, Anakin! “

The redhead sighs, and Ani sees that he is battling against standing up and bursting out, thus he doesn't interrupt him. 

“I never was really tactile, or fatherly. I was a Jedi, but always feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I wanted to be perfect, but that didn’t work. Nobody’s perfect. I followed the Code, I tried to avoid attachment, but… I love you, Anakin. You are my brother, the one I never had. You’ll always be. I tried to run away from that, that’s why I was so… cold sometimes, as you described me. I let it cloud my judgment and made bad choices. For that, I want to apologise. I should have known better.” 

Anakin’s heart seems to stop. Obi-Wan loves him like a brother? And he confesses to it? A lightful warmth rises in his chest, and he delicately wipes a tear on his Master’s cheek, skimming it with his thumb. The young knight opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by the other man’s voice rising again.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t the Master you needed. I wasn’t ready to take on an apprentice. I just became a knight… And only because I had no Master. I’m sure that if Qui-Gon lived, they wouldn’t knight me at that moment. I was hurt by my master’s rejection before the Council, and angry with myself, him and you. But that wasn’t your fault, you were just a scared kid. Then he died, and the grief came. I was mourning him. “ Silence. “You were right, you know? I should have died instead of Qui-Gon.”

Anakin’s jaw drops.

“Don’t say that!” He yells. “I was dumb to even think something like that! To voice it was a mistake. I was angry, and said stupid things. You were the  _ better _ Master I could wish for. Yes, maybe you weren't ready and maybe you weren't the one I  _ needed _ at that time, but you were the one I  _ had _ , and I  _ would never want _ anyone else! I love you too, Master! ” He exclaims, holding his breath as he speaks quickly. 

Obi-Wan looks down and his cheeks are red. 

“Do you really mean it?”

“Of course! Never doubt it, Master.” And at that very moment, the former high councilor drops in Anakin’s hand. They embrace each other in the quiet atmosphere of the room. 

“So, you don’t hate me?” Obi whispers again.

“Of course not.” There are long minutes of silence.

"I won't let them kill you, Master. I won't lose you and you won't lose me, I swear. Whatever happened with the chancellor." Anakin finally says. His master is so vulnerable and he can save him. He  _ will  _ save him, there is no alternative.  _ Kriff  _ the Council,  _ kriff  _ the Galaxy. Obi-Wan is his brother in everything but blood and he won’t let him down. Insane or not, he doesn’t care. He will help him by every existing way.

Obi-Wan eventually straightens up and looks him into his eyes.

"Anakin, listen to me… if something happens, if I.. if I'm executed for my crime, in spite of Jedi protection and your help, you need to let me go. Don't let your anger take the best of you. Control your emotions and choose the Light. The Council isn’t your enemy. We are wrong sometimes, but we are only Jedi. We're just sentient beings which are trying their best. I know Master Yoda says there is no try, but you understand what I mean..."

"Really, Master? A lecture? Now?" Anakin giggles. 

"Please Anakin, I'm not kidding." His interlocutor states in a serious tone.

"But I can't lose you. I love you." Skywalker repeats, holding his master’s hand. 

Obi-Wan smiles.

"Repeat after me, Anakin, there is no death.."

"There is the Force, I know, I know…"

"Thus you understand that I will always be with you."

"Yes, you will be because I will find the proof about Palpatine's implication." Ani caught the throwed line.

"Ani… you will be a father now. Be mindful of your actions…Don’t be reckless and..."

What? Anakin steps in and doesn’t let his friend finish his sentence. His master knows about his wife’s pregnancy? It means he knows about his deviation from the Code and didn’t report him to the Council. The young man feels ashamed now. He was sure that Obi-Wan would report him. He was completely wrong… And… Oh kriff. Wasn’t that Palpatine who suggested to him to keep it quiet in the first place? His eyes widen and he makes a mental note to list all his last interactions with the now dead chancellor. Maybe Obi-Wan isn’t as insane as everybody thinks, maybe the old man was actually manipulating him. But how couldn’t he notice? 

"How? How do you know about the baby? Padmé just told me last night." He finally asks, putting the other thoughts aside. 

There is silence again.

"You saw it in your vision… and.." Obi-Wan wanted him to stay in the light… He was afraid of him falling. That means he... "I did something terrible in it, didn't I? He finally asks.

The former Master sighs and nods.

"I didn't need a vision. I didn't know about your marriage but I knew about your affair. You aren't known for your subtlety Anakin."

The redhead slumps on his bed, tired. _ Too much emotion for his breaking mind _ , Anakin thinks. 

“That wasn’t a vision, Anakin. I lived through this. I told you, I came from a dark future, even if nobody believes me. I hope you will someday. And yes, you did something terrible to protect her. But in the end, everybody lost, and she died too.” There is a glint of sadness in his master’s grey eyes, as he starts shivering. 

“Anakin, please, promise me, promise me you won’t touch the darkness again… Please…” The plea is almost a whisper and it breaks Anakin’s heart. 

“I promise, Master.” He says. He knows this isn’t something he should promise, but it settled now. He will make his best.

He wants to ask a thousand questions about this impossible time-travel the other man suggested (and especially about Padmé’s death) but his master seems on the edge of collapsing. 

Suddenly, Obi-Wan’s eyes widen and he starts to panic, as if he just remembered something important and must tell someone about it.

The shivers are now really strong.

"I need.. to...er... to tell you something yet… it's about..the...the clones..." He stammers, and Anakin can’t understand every word. 

He offers him a reassuring smile.

"Shhh Master… you'll tell me another time. Now you need rest." With a force impulse, he gently whispers the word "sleep". Obi-Wan's body slumps on the edge of his couch. The young knight is surprised that it worked, he thought he couldn’t reach the Force because of the field. Maybe it is because he is stronger with the Force than any other Jedi? Or Obi-Wan finally collapsed under the flow of emotions and it isn’t his making.

Anakin grabs his Master's legs and slowly swings them above the bed's frame, to lay him comfortably. He gently puts a golden strand of hair back, and kisses his master’s forehead. When he was ten and woke up from nightmares, Obi-Wan used to kiss him like that. Now, it’s his turn to take care of his Master. He was blind to his friend’s love, he won’t be ever again.


	12. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka and Anakin rummage through Palpatine's apartment...

As predicted, the Coruscanti authorities didn’t allow Knight Skywalker to legally search the apartment on the pretext that they had already rummaged through it themselves.

Chancellor Palpatine’s apartment is watched by numerous guards to avoid reporters sneaking around. But, for two experienced Force-users as Anakin and Ahsoka, entering the building isn’t a challenge at all. Like felines, completely unseen, they quietly jump to the balconies overhanging the city and infiltrate the place by the bay window, opening it with the help of the Force. Surprisingly, there is no alarm.

“Do you think there are cameras, Skyguy?” The young togruta whispers. 

“I don’t know. Maybe. But if there are ones, let’s just hope that the guards don’t have live access to the footage…” Anakin simply states, as they silently approach the living room. All the rooms are really huge and finely decorated. In spite of the sobriety, one can easily guess that a man of power lived in this place. In fact, the judicious combination of red and black, along with the big dark vases, recalls Palpatine’s office at the Senate.

"Isn’t it better to find a way to disable them?"

The Jedi ponders for a moment.

"No… If we find something, the recordings can prove that we really found it here and didn’t put it for the Order’s sake. Everybody knows that I’m Obi-Wan’s best friend. There are already people outraged by the fact that the Council gave me the lead on the inquiry."

Ahsoka nods and they start to search as much as they can, in a quick pace. Multiple minutes later, there are always no guards rushing over to arrest them, thus they can securely assume that, if their little escapade is recorded, nobody is watching them at that very moment. 

“Rhaaa” Anakin finally grumbles, annoyed. The minutes became an hour now, and they found nothing interesting, nothing that could help Obi-Wan prove his good faith. No hidey-holes, no incriminating documents, absolutely nothing.  _ But Master Obi-Wan must be right. He must be. Because if he isn’t, that means he really is insane and he will wind up locked in a psychiatric facility, if the military court is magnanimous. _

“Wait a minute, Skyguy…” Ahsoka stands still and rubs her chin, mimicking her former grandmaster’s gesture. “If the Chancellor was a Sith Lord, maybe he hid something with the Force?” She offers. 

“Good point, Snips! Why didn’t we think about it earlier?” The Jedi joyfully answers. They both sit down on the floor and close their eyes, visualizing the rooms through the Force. First, they feel absolutely nothing, but with focus and persistence, they finally detect something like a change… a variation in the Force. It looks grey, but as they get their mind close to it, it repulses them, it seems dark, almost vile. 

Anakin jumps. “Here.” He says, pointing the wall out. “There is something that the eye can’t see, but the Force doesn’t lie.” He announces.  _ Oh, you sound almost like Obi-Wan. Be careful to not Obi-Wanize yourself. Two Obi-Wan are too much for this poor Galaxy. _

“But how can we open it?” Ahsoka asks, observing the wall with care, sliding her hands on it. 

The Jedi focuses on a point on the wall.  _ Open, open…  _ He sends by waves via the Force, but nothing happens. His former padawan tries to help him, but neither of them succeeds. He sighs. 

“I don’t know, Snips. But we must find a solution.” He finally replies. 

Again, he focuses, letting the Darkness brush against his mind. It’s cold and it’s calling him in a deep voice, like a friend promising the earth to him. It deluges him with whispers and anger.

Suddenly, he understands. He can’t open it without using the Dark Side of the Force. This is a lock for a Sith Lord: he must use negative emotions. But… He promised Obi-Wan that he would never again touch the darkness. 

_ Just this time. This one time, Anakin. It’s for him. To help him. But he wouldn’t want it, would he?  _ His heart starts to drum against his rib cage as he takes a decision.  _ Forgive me, Master, but I do it for you.  _

He thinks about his mother’s death, about the tusken raiders. And for the second time, he lives through one of the most terrible events of his life. He feels what he felt holding his mum’s limp body in his arms. Sadness, grief, guilt. The anger and his rage are flooding his mind, the same way they did when he slaughtered the whole village, as if they were catching his soul in a vice. He clenches his teeth, and gives in to the feelings. The emotions burst and something appears in front of him. A rounded piece of the wall, in a different color, emits a ‘click’ and a drawer is opened. 

Anakin falls to his knees, breathing with difficulty as he tries to calm down, to erase the memories intoxicating his mind. He thinks about Padmé, smiling in the morning, laying on their bed. He thinks about Ahsoka and her recklessness, that she learnt from him. He thinks about Obi-Wan and his not funny jokes.

“Skyguy!” The togruta shouts his nickname, squatting next to him. “What was that? You felt so…” Her eyes are full of fear, but he can’t see it, because of the fog in front of his own eyes.

“I know.” The young man cuts her short. “I just need a moment…”

His friend doesn’t comment further. 

“At least, now, we know for sure he was a Sith Lord.” She says, putting a warm hand on her interlocutor’s back. 

He finally centers himself and smiles, relaxing at her touch. “Oh yes.”  _ Obi-Wan. I’m so sorry I doubt you. _

“Obi-Wan was right, Palpatine was so confident and arrogant, that he kept information under our nose, easy to find for someone who was looking for it.”

The two of them get close to the drawer. Inside, there are a metallic cylinder and a really small datachip. If it wasn’t light blue, they would probably miss it.

The cylinder is a lightsaber, richly decorated with golden straps. Ahsoka takes the two items and looks at the weapon. She doesn't need to ignite it to guess its color, she can feel the Kyber crystal bleeding and screaming. She puts it back to the drawer and concentrates on the chip. 

With excitement and apprehension, she gets a datapad from her bag and turns it on. She connects the data chip to it. It’s encrypted. She tries all the Republic and Separatist known encryption keys, and, thanks to the Force, one of them functions.

Anakin is standing behind her back, hypnotized by the loading bar and lets out a small noise when the information is displayed. It’s a plan, with various annotations and diagrams. There is a large rounded ship, as big as a moon according to the scale.

“What is that?” Ahsoka asks, her eyes wide as she browses the written sentences.

“It looks like some kind of weapon. A deadly one....”

“Oh Force!” The girl exclaims. “It’s a planet destroyer.” She puts a hand on her mouth, shaking her head.

“We need to inform the Council of our finds. With the force field and the lightsaber, we know for sure he was a Sith. With these plans, we know he was hiding deadly things from the Senate. But we need tangible proof that he was behind the war and Dooku’s Master. There was nothing proving that he wasn’t planning this… thing… for the Republic. It would be too easy, but the best would be to find recordings or something….” 

Anakin sighs. That’s proof. But for Palpatine’s supporters in the Senate, it won't be enough. The fact that he used the Dark Side of the Force unfortunately doesn’t prove he was trying to destroy the Republic. They can even make this horrendous planet destroyer look like a good idea to end the war... 

For the Jedi, it’s enough, because they understand the darkness, they fight it every day, but for the majority of the galaxy, the dark or the light side is just jedi voodoo. And there aren’t as many Jedi’s supporters than at the beginning of the war. Quite the opposite. In the current situation, few people will believe them and back them up.

“Look here. In the meta datas.” Ahsoka indicates something on her datapad, squinting. “There are the coordinates at which these data were downloaded to the chip.”

“Well done, Snips!” He praises her. “We must go there as soon as possible. I’ll contact the Council and tell them to gather. Come on, we’re going to the Temple!” He says, grabbing his comlink and taping Master Windu’s code.

He feels good and happy, in spite of the glint of darkness remaining in his chest and his mind, in spite of these terrible discoveries about a man whom he trusted.  _ Obi-Wan, I’ll save you! _

  
  



	13. Join him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops. Things happen.

Obi-Wan paces up and down, feeling numb and anxious. Since he collapsed, he feels different, as if there is something that isn’t his in his own mind. It’s like a seed of… He doesn’t know what. But it is uncomfortable and almost painful. 

On top of that, he felt something strange earlier, as if a sudden darkness had flooded his bond with Anakin. Since then, he can’t find peace - not that he was in peace before, but his condition worsened. He tried hard to meditate, but each time he closed his eyes, he felt nauseous, imagining his former padawan becoming Darth Vader again. Was he too late? 

But the promise? Anakin is someone really loyal and doesn’t break his promises, let alone the ones he makes to a sick friend. So, what happened? What was this anger and this fear that knocked on his soul’s door?

The mind healer came to assist him with meditation, but the session didn’t help at all. The Jedi is now more nervous than earlier. He looks at the city, which presents itself to him behind the small and only room’s window. He watches all the speeders coming and going in the traffic, these billions of souls simply living, hoping for a better existence. These sentient beings from different species, united in the Core of the Republic, whom he failed in his previous life.

Obi-Wan runs a hand on his face, and sits down at one of his bed’s edges. He has a bad feeling, which floods his guts and weakens his legs, which can no longer carry his own weight. 

“Don’t give into your fear, little one.” A familiar deep voice says behind his back. He turns around and glances at the blue transparent figure of his Master. And during a few minutes, he only stares. 

“Master.” He finally speaks. “You said you wouldn’t leave me.” The sentence is more a complaint than a reprimand. 

“And here I am, little one.”

Obi-Wan sights and shakes his head. “But, before the Council… You just...”

“You see me only because you need me, because your soul calls mine. But you were chosen, you are the only one who can act. Didn’t they try to help you like I told you they would ?” Qui-Gon asks, getting closer. 

“Yes, but Anakin… he did something. I don’t know what, but I felt it. It is bad. I think that...I failed. Again.” The young man looks down. 

Qui-Gon doesn’t answer, and there is a heavy silence again.

"Something is going to happen soon, little one. Can you feel it?" The long-haired deceased man finally tells. “You will have to choose wisely.” His master takes a few steps towards the window, putting his hands behind his back.

“Be mindful of your choices, Obi-Wan. And never forget, the Darkness always takes and never gives.”

Upon these words, the ghost simply disappears. 

_ Thank you, I didn’t know that.  _ A sarcastic voice whispers in Obi-Wan’s mind as he plunges his head into his hands and slumps on the bed. He closes his eyes, trying to calm down.

He can’t tell how many minutes or hours he spent in this position, waiting for whatever is coming to happen, his worry increasing in his womb. 

A loud sound brings his drowsiness to an end. He listens, all his senses lively, but can’t understand what is happening without the help of the Force. He focuses but he feels only a large blur. It seems like an explosion occurred and he smells the smoke in the distance. Some people shouts and cries in the background.

He stands up, when Vokara Che herself and a padawan enter the room. 

“Master Kenobi, stay where you are, there was an accident, but we will handle this. Don’t leave this chamber, whatever happens!” The Twi’lek orders. She seems very worried, and furrows her brow. The padawan grabs unused devices laying in a cupboard and immediately runs toward the corridor.

“What accident?” The human Jedi asks, curious. The healer is looking like she is hiding something from him. She presses her lips.

“Speeders crashed into the healing wing. Almost five of them. There are casualties, a lot of wounded… We must act quickly.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen and he approaches the woman. He gulps loudly.  _ That was this bad feeling! _

“Can I help in some way?” He offers.

“No.” She replies, succinctly and in a strict tone. But seeing the astonished expression on his face, she finally decides to speak again. “Something is off… It's weird that this is happening at such a troubled time. When you're locked up here, and the Jedi are denigrated.” She explains.

“Do you think this is an attack?” 

She shakes her head. “I don’t know, but stay here! I’m under the impression that this isn’t a coincidence and you may be in danger…” After saying that, Vokara Che leaves the place.

Obi-Wan hesitates, but decides to go against her recommendations. He can’t simply twiddle his thumbs while people are hurt! He can help, he knows that he can! He is a Jedi… Or is he really? All his doubts come back like a torrential rain.

He breaths. He doesn’t have time to panic. Not now.

He barely makes two steps in the door’s direction when he hears another explosion, nearer to him than the first ones. He turns around to see the wall shatter into pieces and smoke invades the area. He falls to the floor, letting a scream escape his lips at the violence of the detonation. 

His ears are ringing and his vision is blurry. He gets to his feet with difficulty, putting a warm hand on his painful thorax. Oh, kriff! He must have broken some ribs!

“Oh dear.” He comments, looking at the damages. 

He finally finds his balance and gets closer to the accidented speeder… Or is that a shuttle? He squints, trying to see the victims, and understands the long and the short of all this, when a familiar voice reaches his ears. 

“Kenobi.”

A blue figure is standing in front of him. A duros, with a really recognizable large and ridiculous hat. A large smile on his face, the bounty hunter moves to his direction.

“Cad Bane…” Obi-Wan answers, frowning. “What a pleasure.”  _ Blast it.  _

His interlocutor simply aims a blaster at him.

“Don’t try your luck, Jedi scum!” He cries out. “I was delighted to see that you were my bounty. But disappointed when they said I was forbidden to kill you.” He comments. 

“Oh, hope you’re not too saddened..” Obi-Wan answers ironically while taking a few steps back.

“You’re coming with me, Jedi!” Bane roars.

“Oh sorry, I’m afraid I’m needed elsewhere.” He says and then runs away. But the Duros can’t have his high reputation for nothing: an iron hook hits Kenobi’s legs and a strong rope winds around them. The poor man falls again, his left arm violently colliding with the ground. 

“You listen!” The Duros barks, he gets a holocommunicator from his belt and turns it on. “They knew you wouldn’t behave. So they want to talk to you in person.”

A hologram bursts into life. Count Dooku. Obi-Wan holds his breath, as the Sith starts to speak. 

“Obi-Wan, my dear grandpadawan. I sent this respectable bounty hunter to free you. Come to me, and I will help you to get away with all this terrible tale about treason.” 

The Jedi snorts. 

“I don’t want to join you, Dooku.” he says coldly.

“Oh. How rude. You hurt my feelings.” The Count tells him, putting a hand on his chest, in a falsely outraged gesture. 

“My friends know that I’m not a traitor.” Obi-Wan adds. “You must be disillusioned if you think I’ll come to you now!”

“Oh, but I heard that the Council stated that you were insane and expelled you. What a kind way to support you…” 

Obi-Wan doesn’t answer. Dooku lowers his hood with brand new prosthetic hands. “Maybe you killed Palpatine, but he had other plans… Dangerous ones.” He continues speaking, in a soft tone. “About the clones.”

The Jedi is intrigued. He knows what his interlocutor is talking about but he never knew why the clones had turned against their Generals. They were created by Sidious himself… There must be something in their design. But what ? Can he save them too? Had Palpatine made another plan to destroy the Jedi, in case he would have died? 

“Come to me, and I will tell you everything.”

Is it a good idea? Can he save everyone? Can he use Dooku’s knowledge?  _ Join him. Join him and you will be able to save your friends once and for all!  _ A foreign voice whispers in his mind. He gulps, chasing the thought away. The part of him which is always a jedi doesn’t agree.  _ The darkness always takes and never gives, Qui-Gon said.  _

“I don’t think you know anything. You’re a Sith, you’re lying.” He says, but almost regretfully.

“As you lied?” The Count smirks. “Oh, my sweet little Jedi, you underestimate me. I know you will join me soon. I can see your discord. I can see your doubts.“

“I. Won’t. Join. You.” Kenobi announces, somehow managing a strict tone, in spite of his confusion. 

“Like I said: so be it.” The Count replies and the hologram disappears. 

Obi-Wan doesn’t have the time to move. A needle sinks deep into his neck and he succumbs to unconsciousness one more time. 


	14. Evil - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan wakes up and he is not alone.  
> Ahsoka and Anakin reach the mysterious coordinates.

The coordinates lead to somewhere in the Wild Space, beyond Ryloth. Anakin didn’t bother to look into the archives, he knew that there was 99,99 percent of probability that the planet or whatever was at these coordinates wouldn't be documented. 

After their report to the Council, Ahsoka and her former master chose the fastest ship in the hangar bay and took off. Even with the best hyperdrive class, the navigator controller calculated an eight-day journey. 

They are one day away from Coruscant, playing Sabacc, when Master Windu contacts them.

“We have bad news, Skywalker.” He says. 

_ “Something happened to Obi-Wan?”  _ The thought hurts a lot. He feels a weight on his chest, imagining that he could lose his friend now. He tries to keep a stoic expression on his face as he waits for the Korun Master to deliver the information. 

“There was an attack at the Temple, masked as a traffic accident.” Mace presses his lips together, and seems to be looking for words, before speaking again: “Obi-Wan is missing.” The announcement is a hammer blow.

“What?” Anakin and Ahsoka exclaim as one man, jumping on their seats.

“His mind healer told us he was really… unstable the morning before the attack. We think he may have run away… Maybe to find a way to prove his point himself.” 

“What? No! He wouldn’t!” Skywalker shouts. “He trusts us.” Fueled by anger, he hits the control panel with his fist. How could that happen? Didn’t the Council deign to inform Kenobi about their previous finds concerning Palpatine? What exactly happened?

The black-skinned man sighs. “Given your reaction, I guess he didn’t contact you?”

“No, he didn’t.” Anakin answers coldly. “How can you accuse him of betraying us again? I think he was kidnapped.”

“That could be a possibility. But...By who?” Master Windu’s hologram raises his eyebrows.

“I don’t know… The separatists, maybe. Count Dooku is able to take advantage of his current vulnerability…” The thought sickens him. Obi-Wan, in his current condition, captured by Dooku… Tortured, or worse. He remembers his master’s fragility, like his shields were dancing between raised and totally shattered… He never thought that Obi-Wan could look as broken and helpless, but the older man did look bad. And a Jedi could be broken in the ‘good’ configuration.

His heart starts to jump in his thorax, as he takes a decision.

“We will go find him.” He states. But his interlocutor is not impressed. 

“No.” Mace answers. The tone is strict and there is no place to disobey. “You need to continue your inquiry. It is the ONLY way to help the Order AND Master Kenobi. We will handle this. Focus on your mission.”

The hologram flickers and disappears. 

Anakin is really tempted to disobey, and set course to Serenno, or any other direction the Force tells him to be his Master’s location. But, he must  _ be mindful of his attachments _ as Obi-Wan asked him several times when he was a padawan. He wants to make Obi-Wan proud. And he wants to help him. But which way is the better one to save his former Master?

Ahsoka seems to understand his dilemma. 

“Master Windu is right, Skyguy. We need to find proof about Palpatine’s treason. Master Obi-Wan would want you to do this. In your place, he would fulfill the mission and do his duty, you know it.”

Anakin sighs. “You’re right, Snips. Thank you.” He smiles softly.  _ I won’t let you down, Obi-Wan. _

  
  


**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

Obi-Wan dreams. His dreams are strange and troubled. There is a cloaked figure, leaning above him, touching his forehead and whispering some words. He feels like a child, who did something really stupid and is trying to make amend, trying to avoid his father’s gaze. The presence is so strong that it feels like somebody is in his mind, hurting him, burning him from the inside. He kneels in front of the dark figure.  _ Death wasn't enough, my boy. You’re mine, now…  _ A hoarse voice tells him.  _ Your fear, your hate against yourself for your failings...yeeees. That’s so enjoyable. Let it flood you, let it guide you...Yes... _

And suddenly, the Jedi opens his eyes. His vision is blurry. A dream. It was just a dream. Nothing but a dream. His eyes meet a cold white ceiling. He is in a room. A very spacious and luxurious room, indeed. He tries to regain his composure when he notices that someone is looking at him. 

Here, sitting in a chair next to his bed, is Count Dooku. 

“You’re awake. I’m glad, I was beginning to worry.” The older man says, a -genuine?- smile on his lips.

“What do you want from me, Dooku?” The Jedi snaps, angrily. “Where am I? Did anyone tell you that watching someone sleep is creepy?”

The other only grins, almost predatory.

“Don’t be so rude. I want nothing more than to help you, my dear Obi-Wan.” He finally answers, paternally putting a hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek. The other man moves away, attempting to avoid his touch.

“Of course, you kidnapped me to help me.” He says in a sarcastic and cold tone. 

“The Jedi don’t know what is good for you. They will waste you.” Dooku states.

“Oh. And you know?”

The Count doesn’t answer immediately. He stands up, and looks out of the window. He sighs, and gives Obi-Wan a kind look, one that Obi-Wan never expected to see on the Sith’s face. The lust for love Obi-Wan feels so fervently almost pushes him to believe that Dooku actually cares about him… 

“You saved my life, and I want to do the same for you. Sidious betrayed me, plotting to make your apprentice assassinate me. For that, I don’t want him to win.” He lets a few seconds of silence. “The Jedi won’t help you. They will let you roast in a cell or worse, in a psychiatric facility, if only it will better the public opinion about them. You know that they lost their way. Don’t try to deny it.”

Obi-Wan opens his mouth to speak but the older man stops him, raising a hand. 

“No. Listen. Put your Negotiator’s personality aside, and listen to your grand-master.” Anger rises in Obi-Wan’s chest.  _ How dare he! He killed so many Jedi and now… now what? He thinks he is family? _

Since he woke up from his unwanted sleep, in the healing halls, he doesn’t manage to control his emotions. If they were a total blur and hard to handle before, now, after his nightmare, it was worse. They were exploding in his mind, like fireworks. Every feeling increased. He wants to kill Dooku, he wants it so much. And in his mind, there is this hoarse voice, who tells him that he is absolutely right, that he should do this. He clenches his fists, and an unknown hate glimmers in his eyes.  _ What is happening to me? Why can’t I release my emotions into the Force?  _

He shivers, imagining how it would be really pleasant to see Dooku gasping for air, trying to free himself from a ghost hand around his pitiful neck.

“To help you, I am willing to save the Jedi.” Dooku finally says and Obi-Wan’s jaw falls, as does his arms. He glares at the Sith, speechless. All the anger is replaced by suspicions.. And… Is that hope? 

“What?” He finally croaks. 

“I will tell you everything about the Clones, the chips in their heads.” The Count smiles again. “The way they were created for only one purpose: exterminates the Jedi.” Seeing that he now has all of his grand-padawan’s attention, he continues, pleased: “And I will give you a ship to travel to Kamino, thus you will be able to disable them yourself….”

And just like that, Obi-Wan hangs onto Dooku's every word, drinking them avidly like a poor thirsty man in the desert. 

  
  


**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

The journey was a torture. Eight days of worrying about his Master, and, strangely, even about the other Jedi. Eight days contacting Master Windu or Master Koon frantically, begging for news. That wasn’t the Jedi way, and that was showing attachment, but Anakin didn’t care. 

The young knight was almost trembling in despair when all their communications tools became useless, as he and his former Padawan reached the Wild Space. 

“Snips, let’s get this done quickly. The quickest we’re done here, the quickest we can find Obi-Wan.” He states as they land on a strangely green planet. He imagined something more...scaring. For example, a planet like Mustafar, or even something desertic like Tatooine. Certainly not this jungle. 

“Something is off here, Skyguy…” Ahsoka points out. 

There are a lot of sounds, from various animals, some of them giving the two Force users goose bumps. And the Dark Side is clearly strong there. One thing is certain: they didn’t mistake the coordinates. 

A few kilometers away, stands an imposing ancient and black building. Its figure stands out between the trees, calling them. 

“I’m under the impression that this is our destination.” The Togruta indicates the building, which looks like some evil temple. Anakin can only agree. 

They start to walk, and minutes become hours. The more they get closer to the Temple, the more they feel odd, and ill. Ahsoka is now sweating and she feels a disturbing presence around them. Anakin isn’t better. Maybe he’s even in a worse condition.

Suddenly, all the noises around them disappear, as if the planet just became lifeless. Ahsoka and her former Master observe the area, quietly, side by side. Something - or someone, is coming. 

Only seconds later, a hooded dark figure steps in front of them. The darkness is almost suffocating and Knight Skywalker ignites his lightsaber, ready to face the danger. His blue blade comes to life and is rapidly greeted by the sight of a red one. 

“Hello there.” Obi-Wan Kenobi stands there, a wild grin on his lips, his golden eyes glimmering with darkness. 


	15. Evil - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Obi-Wan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the delay! I was so tired this past weeks! Impossible to write!  
> I decided to post a shorter chapter, and I hope you'll enjoy it!
> 
> TW: violence, death

“Obi-Wan… What are you doing here?” Anakin’s eyes widen as he scrutinizes the older man. He can’t read his presence in the Force, everything is blurry and only Darkness remains. The wind is suddenly really cold, and the neighbouring greenery slowly becomes greyer. 

Anakin shivers as he realizes that the darkness comes from none other than his interlocutor.

“I am here because you are here.” His former Master answers, looking him in the eye, a predatory smile on his lips. This is not Obi-Wan’s smile. These are not Obi-Wan’s eyes, gold and red, full of anger - the exact opposite of his soft and kind blue ones. 

“What do you mean? What happened?” The Jedi asks, moving to his side, trying to guess Kenobi’s next move. He can’t believe this. That is impossible. His Master would never turn to the Dark Side… It must be something else, an illusion, a nightmare, a stupid joke! The Force must be a liar…. 

At Anakin’s side, Ahsoka is quietly watching the exchange, with incredulity and focus. She ignited her lightsabers at the same time as her former Master and stands in a defensive stance. 

A guttural laugh rises in the wind.

“What happened? Do you really want to know what happened?” Kenobi repeats, with sarcasm, and there is a glint of hate in his pupils. 

“YOU happened.” He finally replies, and his interlocutor barely has time to react as a blade slashes in his direction. 

He deflects the blade with his own, and all the three protagonists fell into a deathly dance. The familiar sabers hum fills the silent clearing as they fight. 

“Master Obi-Wan, please stop!” Ahsoka exclaims. Kenobi attacks with violence, in a style they don’t recognize; this isn’t Obi-Wan’s controlled Soresu, but a savage and uncontrolled choreography, far from the Temple’s teachings. He acts like an animal, with bestiality. 

They fight for a long time and Anakin is almost breathless when he begs: “Please, Obi-Wan, snap out of this! I don’t know what happened, but we can talk, we can help you! Everything will be alright!”

“Everything will be alright?” Kenobi smirks. “No. You don’t understand. You are the reason why all of this happened. Because you’re a scared little dumb child...An angry little slave a Jedi felt sorry for.”

And then, as the terrible words distract both the Togruta and the young man, Kenobi takes advantage of this moment to deliver the fatal blow. His lightsaber runs through Ahsoka’s chest. 

“Obi….wan….” She faintly whispers, eyes widen with shock, before falling to the ground, lifeless. 

“No!” Anakin shouts, flinging himself on Obi-Wan, delivering blow after blow. But the other easily deflects the blade.

“See, oh mighty Chosen One, so weak, so useless. Look like you failed. She is dead and it is your fault.” Kenobi says, a victorious grin decorating his face. “And now, you can feel it… Your true self. The anger, the fear, the darkness….”

The Jedi tries to calm down, looking at his former padawan, lying limp on the ground. He must reach her quickly. Maybe she is alive! With the clouded Force surrounding them, he can’t feel anything!

“Why, Obi-Wan?” He asks, trembling. The anger is fueling him, as he attacks again. The roles are now reversed. He is the attacker and his former Master, the defender. 

“Oh… Why? Because I hate you.” Kenobi simply announces. 

The words are a heavy blow, they stun the young Knight.. 

“W...What?”

“You always said that I didn’t care for you, that I was holding you back, and didn’t want you as my padawan. You know what? You were right.” His interlocutor explains.

“When I put my eyes on you the first time, on Naboo, I knew you would be only trouble and disappointment.” 

Kenobi’s lightsaber comes close to Anakin’s arm, then to his head. 

“First, you stole my Master. Qui-Gon saw in you this stupid prophecy, he pitied you and decided you should be trained. He rejected me in front of the Council… And even when he was dying, he was thinking about you, and your future. He made me promise to train you. I loved him, so I did.” 

Anakin manages to burn Kenobi’s left hand, but it doesn’t stop his former Master.

“What a fool! I was chained to a stupid boy, and coudn’t enjoy a Knight’s life. I had to help you, to teach you… You weren’t a bad student, but you were so… stupid. I tried to be a good Master, but, for you, I was never enough! I tried to be a father, that wasn’t good enough !”

His lightsaber cuts a branch of a tree, and it almost crushes Ahsoka's lying body.

“I tried to be a good Jedi Master, to detach myself from you, arrogant little brat! That wasn't enough. All the suspicions, because of everything that happened: can I be a good Master? Oh Kenobi is too young, maybe this is a mistake! This is an attachment to Qui-Gon Jinn!” The glint of fury in his eyes is now a flame. “I tried to be your friend, that too wasn’t enough!”

Their blades collide. 

“I’m sick of this! You destroyed my life, my plans! I sacrificed so much for you! I argued so much with the Council, with my friends to help you, to be allowed to teach you, to be allowed to love you ! And I wasn’t enough!” He is screaming like a wounded animal. 

“You’re just a selfish bantha shit!” And with these words, he jumps, flinging himself on Anakin’s blade, impaling himself on it. “And now, you’ll do what you were always supposed to do, you will kill me.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes flicker, before becoming blue again, and his body slips to the ground, totally lifeless. 

“No!” Anakin is crying. He is hurting, because, deep down, he knows that what Obi-Wan said was the truth. When he was a padawan, he was unfair to his Master. And if this all hotchpotch with palpatine hadn’t occurred, he always would be. But all this suffering? Why Obi-Wan didn’t tell him ? 

His lightsaber falls to the ground as he looks at his former Master and his former Padawan. He lost them both. He wasn’t good enough to save them. He is alone now and he deserves this fate. 

He can’t stop the tears from falling on his cheeks. He is lost. 

He closes his eyes, still, he can’t even go check on Ahsoka, the suffering is too intense. He will die there with them. 

He sinks in an endless spiral of pain and suffering. He deserves to die alone, to be forgotten. 

But, surprisingly, a few minutes later, or maybe hours, he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

He opens his eyes, and takes a few seconds to concentrate. 

“Skyguy, can you hear me?” 

The familiar face of his Togruta padawan greets him back to the world of living. 

“What? You were dead and Obi-Wan, he…” Anakin looks around. The forest’s sounds are loud again and there is nobody else, no dead corpse, no grey vegetation. 

“No, I was not. It was all an illusion.” Ahsoka replies. “From the Temple, there. I think it’s attacking us.” She points out the threatening building. “ We must hurry, before it happens again. You were out for hours!”


	16. Alea jacta est

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan goes to Kamino. What is this voice that torments him?
> 
> TW: a lot of violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back ! Sorry for the delay, I hope you'll like this update! :)  
> I know some things are not really logical, but... that's it xD I think there will be two or three more chapters after this one, to conclude the part 2 of these series!  
> Thank you for your kind words on the other chapters! <3

Obi-Wan presses a button on his ship's cockpit, watching the radar screen.

Dooku did keep his promise and gave him the information he was looking for, but the Jedi would be damned if he believed the Sith when he said that nobody would follow him. 

But, strangely, it seems that the Count did not lie about this.

There’s no one following him. 

Obi-Wan sighs. His mind is blank, he doesn’t have a plan. He just knows that he must stop this war and all this madness now. He can’t understand why Dooku helped him… Maybe this is simply a trap? But why? He was his prisoner, why let him go? What is the point? 

Before his departure, Dooku even gave him a lightsaber. And Obi-Wan was afraid to see its color, but he clipped it to his belt without a word. 

The Sith only give their help when one can give it back to them. But the Jedi Master is a fervent devotee of the “spring the trap” rule. 

Furthermore, he can’t process that the clones have chips in their head, submitting them, making them real slaves. How could the Jedi be so blind ? They knew that a “Darth Tyrannus” hired Jango Fett to be the donor for the clones' DNA and yet, they didn’t look deeper into this. 

Obi-Wan sighs again. He is so tired. His life doesn’t matter anymore. He was sent to the past for a reason. He must choose cleverly. He glances at the console and finally enters the coordinates to Kamino. 

_ Alea jacta est.  _

**SWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSWSW**

When he arrives at Kamino, it’s raining, he is freezing and Taun We appears at the door. He has a great sense of déjà-vu, as the Kaminoan bends to greet him. 

“Master Jedi, welcome to our facility. It’s an honor to see you again.” the white alien says, and Obi-Wan can feel anxiety emanate from her through the Force. 

He bows slowly.

“The honor is mine.” He answers. “Is Master Ti here?”

Taun We seems to hesitate a few seconds, the aura of fear growing around her, before replying: 

“No, she’s off planet but will be coming back soon. I can com her for you.”

Obi-Wan smiles. Perfect. Nobody’s here to stop him. He is certain that the Kaminoans must know about his crime -the whole galaxy knows about it by now-, but he will deal with it if -when- needed. 

“That won’t be necessary, thank you.”

He enters, following the taller humanoid at a slow pace. 

“How can I be of assistance?” She asks. 

“I need to speak with the Prime Minister, please.” He replies. 

She nods. 

“Certainly.” She replies.

They continue on their way and finally arrive at Lama Su’s office. 

The prime minister is here, sitting at his desk, typing something on a datapad. All this white irritates Obi-Wan, these evil bastards try to look like honorable businessmen, giving their clinic the color of purity. 

Taun We introduces the Jedi, bows, and let them alone. 

“What a surprise, Master Jedi! Master Shaak Ti didn’t say anything about your visit.” Lama Su says, inviting his guest to sit with a large movement. 

Obi-Wan doesn’t. He slips his hands into his sleeves and speaks:

“I must change the programming of the clones.” His tone is commanding. There is anger in his heart, growing.

Lama Su stills for a second, and looks at him with suspicion. 

“I’m confused. What do you mean, Master Jedi?” He asks, but the Jedi can feel in the Force that he already knows what he is asking for. 

Obi-Wan looks at him with calm. 

“The orders programmed on the chips. We had some issues with the clones lately. We need to make them more compliant.” He explains, disgusted by his own words. He is aware that Taun We sees that something is off about him, that he isn’t comfortable, but he must remain neutral. 

“I settled this with Dark Tyrannus.” Master Kenobi finally lies. He is sure that Dooku will provide backup if the Kaminoan decides to com him. After all, he is here because of the Sith, whatever the Count plans to gain from this. 

“Oh.” The prime Minister gasps, and the tension dissipates by an inch. Finally, the fact that he is wanted by the Republic for crimes is a good asset in this situation. 

The Kaminoan give every appearance of thinking before nodding. 

“Tell us what you need and I’ll personally ensure that everything will be done according to your requirements.”

  
  


Obi-Wan frowns. There are few seconds of silence, before he finally waves his hand and steps in: “You’ll let me change the settings myself.” He orders. Kaminoans are strong-minded creatures, but maybe this trick will work for enough time for him to access the chips.

“I’ll let you change the settings yourself, of course.” The Prime Minister repeats, eyes unfocused. 

“Come.” He indicates the door with one of his long fingers, and the Jedi follows him. They exit the room and take various corridors, leading them to a secure area. 

Clones troopers salute them as they cross their path. Some of them are really young, and had yet to meet a Jedi other than General Ti. They try to keep their composure, but Obi-Wan can feel their excitement. Poor ones, eager to serve under their slavers, not knowing what a sad life, lacking freedom of mind, is expecting them. The hurt and furor in his heart increases. He clenches his fists, trying to calm down, but there’s this voice in his head, claiming that he is right to feel that way. 

_ There is no emotion, there is peace.  _ The words loop silently in his mind, fighting against another voice:  _ Peace is a lie, there is only passion _ .

Lama Su suddenly breaks off in front of a console, and a light switches on. The device scans his face and the two men are allowed entrance into a big laboratory. 

Kaminoans scientists bow respectfully to greet the newcomers, as they stop in front of a computer. 

“This is one of the secure terminals used to update the chips. They are connected and we can download or upload data when we want. The only inconvenience is that some clones can ‘shut down’ during the process, but it takes less than 10 seconds. One of our priorities was to make them modifiable should our customers change their minds. It seems we were right.”

Obi-Wan’s anger raises again in his chest. How dares this bastard talk about his troops like they were droids! He closes his eyes and intends to calm down. He hopes that “shut down” doesn’t mean death; but he has no other way to guarantee that nobody will use the clones against their will. 

“The authentication is binded to my biological print, and to my best collaborators ones.” Lama Su continues his explanation. The Kaminoan approaches the terminal and red rays scan him. A needle appears and the device takes a few drops of blood. 

The analysis runs for a few minutes and, finally, the terminal is usable. 

“Go on.” the Prime Minister says, letting the Jedi access the data.

When he reads the orders, particularly the Order 66, his heart starts to drum against his chest. 

_ You see, they are evil, they are treacherous, and deserve death, agony….  _ The voice in his head is lowder and lowder as anger rises again.  _ This is their fault! They sold the Jedi Order for credits! They sold children’s life for money! All these people are dead!  _

His hands are trembling as he taps words on the console. “Protect civilians”. He cannot erase the orders, only replace them. Thus, he replaces the globality by this line. A loading bar appears, indicating the progress of the process. 10%.... 35%....70%.... 95%... 

At this moment, Obi-Wan hears the door open and Taun We appears, incredulous. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but what are you doing here, Master Jedi? This area is restricted. If you need something, we will provide, but no one can….” She stops speaking when she catches sights of Lama Su, who seems to break his mind-trick induced trance. 

“What?” He asks, he looks around and his eyes finally lay on the Jedi. 

“What? Don’t touch this!” He shouts, approaches the terminal, wanting to interrupt whatever operation is in progress. 

Obi-Wan force-pushes him. 

_ This is their fault! This is their fault! This is their fault! This is their fault!  _ The voice in his head repeats tirelessly.  _ They must die! _

All the scientists turn their eyes to his direction, fear is increasing through the Force. 

“You don’t deserve my leniency!” Obi-Wan cries out. Blinded by his anger, he raises his hand, and Lama Su is flying one meter above the ground, holding his neck, trying to break free from an invisible assailant. “You thought you could reach an agreement with the Sith? I’ll show you what one earns when working with them.”

There is terror in the eyes of the Kaminoan. Obi-Wan clenches his fist and Lama Su gasps one more time, before his neck smashes, making a terrible noise of breaking bones. 

_ Kill them! Kill them all!  _

Taun We, frightened, tries to escape, heading for the door, but Kenobi ignites his lightsaber. A blood red blade emerges, and the scientists scream, trying to follow their unlucky boss. 

Obi-Wan isn’t himself anymore. He doesn’t hear their terrified shouts, only this voice in his mind, which is in control of his body. His hands aren’t his anymore, as the lightsaber cut through the aliens. Some are killed, their head sliced from their body, others are dying on the floor, lacking multiple members. But in the end, no one survives. 

Someone must have activated an alarm somewhere, because, soon, the door closes again and the Jedi - who isn’t a Jedi anymore at this time, who isn’t Obi-Wan anymore - is locked inside the securated area. 

His ears are ringing as he pushes his lightsaber through the strong door. The latter doesn’t last long before the assault of the weapon’s high temperature. 

He must fly away. All his body is shaking.

He crosses the hallway, his saber cutting through the rare clones allowed in this area of the complex and trying to hold him back. His strength isn’t his own, it’s like something greater is helping him, is pushing him to the Dark, binding him to the most horrendous side of his personality. Incapable of stopping, he goes on, and the bodies drop one by one, as he executes the Kaminoans and clones alike. 

And then, appears someone he thought he could avoid longer. 

Jedi Master Shaak Ti is standing in the corridor, her blue lightsaber humming in the deathly silence of the place. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you liked it, hit the kudos button/comment!  
> 


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